London/India – A hopelessly corrupt IAS officer, Mr Paisa Khanewala, today offered his post to Vijay Mallya for a month so that the latter can earn back 9000 crores, he owes to banks, through bribes.
We spoke to the benevolent Mr Paisa Khanewala to understand as to what prompted him to make such a generous offer, “Well I was so saddened when Mr Mallya had to flee the country over flimsy reasons like him being a willful defaulter and not cooperating with the investigation process. Also I felt bad when none of his collateral put up for auction found any buyers. That’s when I thought I should help a person truly in need so that he can come back to his motherland and ruin her a bit more. So I decided to offer him my highly lucrative post as I firmly believe that the man of Mr Mallya’s caliber can easily amass kickbacks worth 9000 crores in a month’s time, if not before. Though I would be charging him my standard Commission of 10% hence he has to act accordingly.”
When asked if won’t make matters worse if Mr Mallya gets caught up in a corruption case, Mr Paisa Khanewala started rolling on the floor laughing, “Bhai he will be doing corruption, not some crime that he will get caught. Anyway, if he could get away without paying banks their loans or Kingfisher employees their salaries then who will care for a little bit of corruption? If your question comes from the recent case where an IAS officer was caught with 800 Crores then I think he was arrested for having so little even after having served as an IAS officer for so lon. Hamare office ka to peon bhi 1,000 Crore ki aasaami hai.”
Mallya is keen to accept the post but says he will prefer to stay in London on the pretext of being on a study tour while on job.