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Consulting firm advises India to shift LoC to Haryana border to reduce ceasefire violations

19, Aug 2013 By indianpsycho

New Delhi. With nothing seem to be going right for Congress in the run up to the next general elections, the party has hired services of leading consultancy firm McGunsey & Co. to pull it out of the mess and advise the party on steps it needs to take to win back faith of Indian voters.

Among the many issues that has been bothering Indians, the major one is of Indian government’s “soft” stance on Pakistan’s repeated ambushes across the Line of Control (LoC).

After lot of brainstorming and research, McGunsey have come up with solution that can work wonders for Congress.

They have advised the government of India to completely restructure the LoC and make the Haryana border the new LoC. They are confident this will drastically reduce or even put an end to the increasing number of ceasefire violations.

Pakistan Army
Now our PM will have to no longer mug statements condemning ceasefire violations by Pak Army.

“This would certainly repose the faith of Indians and Arnab Goswami back in Congress,” Ashish Pherwani, a partner in McGunsey & Co. told Faking News.

“With the J&K border no longer being the LoC, there will be no official ceasefire violations at all,” Ashish explained how the restructured LoC will solve all problems.

McGunsey has further asked the government to downsize the army after the LoC restructuring as they would not need services of so many army men at the relatively safe Haryana border.

“The money thus saved by downsizing can be then used for campaigning by Congress,” a source explained why the government could accept McGunsey’s recommendations.

The new LoC will further have malls, restaurants, hotels, etc. as Robert Vadra has already started developing that region. However, this could cause China to frequently cross the LoC, the report by McGunsey warns.

“We will give another consulting project to McGunsey if the China problem becomes bigger,” a government official responded when asked about his views on the side-effects pointed out by the consulting firm.

When Faking News asked McGunsey & Co. on what exactly was meant by shifting LoC to Haryana i.e. whether it meant relocating people from Haryana to J&K or allowing Pakistan to claim land up to Haryana, the company said that “it depends”.

“It depends upon the political will of the government,” a source explained.