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All Indian girls to be "fair & lovely" by 2020

23, Feb 2014 By Lunatic509

New Delhi. After the successful eradication of Polio from India, the Health Ministry is now all set to eradicate one more vital malaise, i.e. the disease of “blackness”.

A survey conducted by a matrimonial website on one million grooms all across the country found that 70 percent of the would be grooms want “fair girls” as their brides, 20 percent want “dark but sexy”, 5 percent want “dark with huge dowry” and only 5 percent want “dark if already pregnant by them” to avoid lawsuits.

Fairness Cream
By 2020, fairness creams will be out of market.

To cater to the needs of a large and increasing number of would-be grooms, boyfriends, and live-in partners, the Health Ministry is about to embark upon a massive vaccination drive throughout the country to save Indian girls from Blackness.

Scientists in the Indian De-melaninization Institute of Technology (IDIOT) have invented a vaccine which will decrease melanin on skin and thus will reduce darkness.

This vaccine will be administered to girl children up to the age of five in all suburbs, towns, villages and tribal areas. “If successful, all Indian brides will be fair by 2020,” a hopeful scientist told Faking News.

To increase awareness about this campaign the government has already set up an agency to create advertisements that will be broadcast in national television and social media.

The agency plans to rope in some mega stars for the ad campaign following the success of Amitabh Bacchan’s legendary campaign for Polio. Sources say that Shahrukh Khan may be approached who is already the brand ambassador of Fair & Handsome cream.

Some doctors also perform ultrasounds to find out not the gender but the color of the female fetus to take adequate care before birth itself. But many conservative organizations have criticized such practices as they claim that such practices will lead to “black female feticide” in fear of large dowries.

However, the vital question rests what happens to those who are already beyond any corrective surgery and are living the life of humiliation and being rejected many times by grooms, boyfriends and live-in partners.

Various progressive political parties are eyeing to woo voters by promising free fairness creams kit instead of laptops to all girl students in higher secondary schools. Fair girls will get reservation in government and private sector jobs and educational institutions.

Parents are being asked not to let their girls out for outdoor games like football, hockey and cricket which can have adverse effects on their skin. They are encouraged to perform homely activities like cooking, dish-washing and cleaning which are also skills highly recommended by matrimonial websites.

Transport Authorities will have check posts to check if female riders are equipped with veils to save them from direct sunlight or not.

Various intellectuals and NGOs have welcomed this step of Indian government. A famous Bollywood lyricist said on condition of anonymity that fairness has always been the recurrent motif of many Hindi songs like Goria Churana Mera Jia, Gori Tere Pyar Mein, Gori Teri Ankhen Kahen to name a few.

This move will give impetus for more creative songs like this and will remove darkness from Indian society.

Unlike others the eve-teasers are unmoved by this move as they are quite democratic on their treatment to girls of any color as maintained by the president of Eve Teasers Association of India.

However, this move is not overlooked by right-wing activists like Nandita Das and others who still maintain their conservative stands that women are not the objects of male gaze.