Sunday, 19th November, 2017

Snippets

2 year old shoots angry email to CEO of diaper company after new diaper fails to absorb extra susu in night

17, Jan 2016 By Pagla Ghoda

Mumbai: A two year old kid Bantu Makhija has created a history in field of consumer complaints by sending a self-composed angry email to CEO of a diaper company BABYWONTCRY dot com after his new brand of diapers did not perform as expected. Faking News Sources were able to retrieve a copy of the complaint email which was sent to Mr. Pawan Kulkarni, Chief Executive Officer, Babywontcry Inc.

Dear Mr. Pawan Kulkarni,

The unhappy consumer
The unhappy consumer

My family belongs to upper middle class where both my mumma and pappa work very hard to make ends meet and still buy your expensive diapers who I believe are complete waste of a product. You should fire your complete marketing team right now for selling false promises to innocent babies and their extremely busy mothers. Your new diaper Susu-Controller X 7.0 promised that it will absorb 1 extra susu in morning along with 6 susu in night, but with heavy heart I must say that it could not take beyond 5 susus in night.

Can you even begin to imagine how embarrassing this gets for me as a growing kid? I bet you don’t. Which brings me to my next point, why don’t you and your cheater executives try these diapers yourself for a few days to better understand.

Now since I got to be on twitter within next 45 seconds for a virtual tweetup with my pre-nursery buddies, so I can’t waste more internet capital on this email. I however caution you to increase quality of your products or tone down your advertisements to avoid over-selling, else my next level of escalation would be a consumer forum, which can snowball into something bigger. News from finance websites tell me you are planning an IPO in next 6 months, and I don’t have to tell you how the stink of a bad PR campaign will impact your IPO subscriptions. Beware.

– Bantu Makhija

(An aggrieved 2 year old)

P.S. My Pops Somesh Makhija who is an investment banker, at times works upto 22 hours a day when he has to take his private jet to visit multiple clients in a row. My mumma Tanisha Manchandani Makhija who works as a liberal news anchor, challenges corporates day in and day out (i.e. the corporates who fail to give good deals to my papa). As I said earlier, they work really hard to make ends meet, i.e. payout the housing loan for our villa. You get the gist of what I want to say.

While it is not yet clear on how Mr. Pawan Kulkarni will respond to this email, but according to sources after this sharp email, many other babies are now coming out with horror stories where diaper products have failed to keep marketing promises. An international NGO by name AGoodNightSleep which works for welfare of diaper aggrieved kids may soon be moving courts of law with Public Interest Litigations in this regard.