NEWSWIRE

Reports by TheMalluLampoon

Fevicol appoints Suresh Kalmadi as their new Brand Ambassador

Fevicol appoints Suresh Kalmadi as their new Brand Ambassador

Sep 12, 2010 Comments

Leading adhesives brand Fevicol has decided to hire the Commonwealth Games Organizing Committee Chairman Suresh Kalmadi as their new Brand Ambassador. Earlier, the brand was represented by unnamed politician, aliens, egg-laying-hen, girl-with-a-moustache, among others and Suresh Kalmadi is believed to be a natural extension.

In spirit of equality, government to make poverty inclusive

In spirit of equality, government to make poverty inclusive

Aug 15, 2010 Comments

The UPA government is considering a radical new approach to the problem of creating an inclusive society. After the disheartening and abysmal failure of all their development plans and the alarming rise in economical inequities in a rapidly developing nation, the government has come up with a novel innovative solution; reduce inequity by making poverty inclusive.

Listless Bollywood stars head to South Africa for acting tips

Listless Bollywood stars head to South Africa for acting tips

Jun 23, 2010 Comments

It seems that football fever of a different kind has hit Bollywood! Recent reports indicate that a horde of listless Bollywood actors have descended upon South Africa. Our investigations revealed that under the pretense of watching the world cup, they were actually taking acting lessons from the players. One of the actors, under the condition of anonymity, confessed that they had a lot to learn from these players.

Indian Hockey team detained at airport for carrying wooden sticks

Indian Hockey team detained at airport for carrying wooden sticks

May 18, 2010 Comments

The Indian men’s Hockey team, which just returned home after sharing honors for the first spot with South Korea in the Sultan Azlan Shah tournament, was detained at the International Airport here due to security concerns. According to the customs officials, they were found in possession of dangerous wooden sticks, a barred item for international routes where only cricket bats are allowed as an honorary exception.

Mayawati statues to be included and counted in census 2011

Mayawati statues to be included and counted in census 2011

May 14, 2010 Comments

A recent press release from the Office of the Registrar General and Census Commissioner of India states that the Mayawati statues would be counted during census 2011. After the inclusion of caste in the census, the BSP had put a lot of pressure on the government to include the statues too. As one senior BSP member put it, “at the end of the day, whether human or statue, a dalit is a dalit!”