When will my problems end?
Ek aur shaadi kar lo, kripa aani shuru ho jayegi
An automotive company in UP claims to have trumped Bajaj’s new quadricycle RE60. They have launched a car with an extra wheel on top and car calling it “Ulta Ultra”.
Following the injury sustained on the campaign trail by Pakistani celebrity-politician, Imran Khan, Congress is considering staging a similar accident to make Rahul Gandhi appear charismatic.
A new bank is tackling India’s flagging economic growth by harnessing India’s natural competitive advantage: corruption.
Owing to skyrocketing cutoffs for admission to Delhi University, a geneticist has isolated the gene for academic excellence, which will help students break the barrier of 100% marks in exams. Professor Mohan Bhatt successfully found the gene after ten years of collecting DNA samples from tea cups at JNU. Prof. Bhatt claims that genetically modified students will be able to score around 110% in board exams.
IMFL or “Indian Made Foreign Liquor” should be reclassified as “Indian made liquor” or something similar after an investigation found that foreigners could not recognize most domestically produced alcohol. A distinguished panel, assembled by Faking News after visiting a few Paharganj guesthouses, was given numerous “Indian made foreign liquors” to identify. However, many did not recognize what each liquor was “meant to be”.
Lifestyle and pornographic websites have begun replacing “filtered” words like “sex” with innocent words to stop their sites being blocked by office IT administrators. This was done after website administrators realized that they were losing a lot of potential traffic to some news and current affairs websites like timesofindia.com and rediff.com. Post the changes, many websites are experiencing increased hits and employees claim increased productivity.
After Indian intelligence agencies confirmed the presence of suspected Chinese military engineers in Pakistan occupied Kashmir (PoK), Faking News has found out the details of the secret mission these engineers are on. Using their famous “reverse engineering” method to create knock-off goods, the Chinese are trying to create a region like PoK near Arunachal Pradesh, some parts of which China has been claiming as “disputed territory”.
After Sachin Tendulkar successfully resolved the fight between Andrew Symonds and Harbhajan Singh, government has been thinking of making use of little master’s negotiating skills to the benefit of the larger society. As a first step towards that, center has asked Tendulkar to go to Chhattisgarh and settle the dispute between the government and the Naxals. Although Tendulkar is unsure of the whole idea, he has agreed to help.