NEWSWIRE

Reports by Pagla Ghoda

Upcoming News Channel to not hire any journalist, will recruit story writers and theater actors instead

Upcoming News Channel to not hire any journalist, will recruit story writers and theater actors instead

Aug 25, 2015 Comments

Famous media house SBEN Network has announced the inauguration date of its brand-new NEWS broadcasting channel Krantikaari TV (KKTV).

3-year old clicks random buy, sell buttons on share-trading app, makes crores amid falling markets

3-year old clicks random buy, sell buttons on share-trading app, makes crores amid falling markets

Aug 24, 2015 Comments

In a series of strange events Animesh Kakodkar a.k.a. Chintu, 3 year old son of Ajitesh Kakodkar a share-market broker, made 2.3 crore rupees in 7 minutes using his father’s mobile phone.

People jumping out of windows in Bollywood movies, exactly land on car roofs in 95% of cases: Study

People jumping out of windows in Bollywood movies, exactly land on car roofs in 95% of cases: Study

Aug 18, 2015 Comments

A landmark study at Banshee-das Institute of Actuarial Sciences (BIAS) has found that people jumping out of windows in Bollywood movies often tend to land exactly on the roof of the car parked beneath the window.

ISIS plans to conquer Asia by 2020, Mars by 2030, and then plans first space journey by 2040

ISIS plans to conquer Asia by 2020, Mars by 2030, and then plans first space journey by 2040

Aug 18, 2015 Comments

After ISIS released its vision 2020 map showing its increased predicted influence around the world, there has been news of a vision 2030 ISIS map with a few regions marked ‘ISIS’ on planet Mars as well.

Top economist hits back at Govt, says no one has right to interfere in academics except him

Top economist hits back at Govt, says no one has right to interfere in academics except him

Aug 17, 2015 Comments

Leading economist and social reformer Kartavya Sengupta has badly chastised government for their increased interference in academics. He has clarified during multiple press conferences that he is the only one who should be provided sole rights of interfering in education of the masses.

Unable to scream due to sore throats, Congress MPs to now disrupt Parliament using Usha Uthup songs

Unable to scream due to sore throats, Congress MPs to now disrupt Parliament using Usha Uthup songs

Aug 13, 2015 Comments

Consistent screaming and disrupting Parliament session continuously for past few days has taken a huge toll on throats of protesting congress MPs. Hence going forward Sonia and team plans to play Usha Uthap’s songs in loud volume to cause disruption in Parliament and forcing the speaker to adjourn the session.

Afraid of Hindu terror, many activists seek asylum in peaceful territories such as ISIS controlled ones

Afraid of Hindu terror, many activists seek asylum in peaceful territories such as ISIS controlled ones

Aug 5, 2015 Comments

Some leading news presenters, anchors and other liberal journalists are apparently very much afraid of looming threat of Hindu terror in the country and are submitting applications for political asylum in relatively peaceful countries such as Iraq, Syria and Afghanistan.

Candle making firms post huge profits as social activists hold back-to-back candle-light vigils to plead for terrorists

Candle making firms post huge profits as social activists hold back-to-back candle-light vigils to plead for terrorists

Jul 31, 2015 Comments

Candle making companies in the country are happy with bright business prospects as social activists and NGOs throughout the country are holding back-to-back candle-light vigils to plead for mercy for terrorists.

Ekta to adapt Bajrangi Bhaijaan into Daily Soap, Munni to reach Pak in 250th episode

Ekta to adapt Bajrangi Bhaijaan into Daily Soap, Munni to reach Pak in 250th episode

Jul 30, 2015 Comments

Saas-bahu evangelist and sister of superstar Tusshar, Miss Ekta Kapoor has finally decided on the inevitable. She has decided to adapt Bajrangi Bhaijaan into a Daily soap opera called ‘Agle Janam lautegi tohri bitiya (AJLTB), literally translating to, your kid lost in this birth will only return in next.

Kid taken to Pakistan by Bajrangi Bhaijaan returns to India, says she likes it better here

Kid taken to Pakistan by Bajrangi Bhaijaan returns to India, says she likes it better here

Jul 24, 2015 Comments

Munni who was taken to Pakistan by Bajrangi Bhaijaan with so much difficulty and amidst huge fighting has returned to India by the very next Air India flight and is searching for Bhaijaan.