NEWSWIRE

Reports by Pagla Ghoda

Count Dracula floats NGO for vampire-rights; wants minority status, blood sucking legalized

Count Dracula floats NGO for vampire-rights; wants minority status, blood sucking legalized

Apr 27, 2015 Comments

Count Vlad Tepes “the impaler” from Transylvania, properly addressed as Count Dracula, was in city to inaugurate an exhibition on ancient European arts.

Engineering student declared “outlaw” for actually using scale, protractor and compass in class

Engineering student declared “outlaw” for actually using scale, protractor and compass in class

Apr 27, 2015 Comments

Ritesh Bhaum, the usual front bencher in the class has apparently been ostracized by the rest of the students for using scale, protractor (DEE) and compass in a lab class during which others didn’t even bring a pen

Serial road-rager finally gets an answer to “Tu jaanta hai main kaun hu?”

Serial road-rager finally gets an answer to “Tu jaanta hai main kaun hu?”

Apr 26, 2015 Comments

Mr. Khanna who has been a part of 168 road-rage incidents in the previous financial year was amidst a routine fight with another commuter Banshee Dholakia, when this happened.

News-channels unable to comment on a church-theft after culprit refuses to disclose his religion

News-channels unable to comment on a church-theft after culprit refuses to disclose his religion

Apr 25, 2015 Comments

Many eminent journalists, news presenters, anchors, panel debaters and social activists throughout the country were left in a fix yesterday morning when a fresh church-theft was reported but the religion of the thief could not be determined even after multiple attempts

Saaddi bullet bike is faster than Japani bullet train, claims bike-stunt artist from Ludhiana

Saaddi bullet bike is faster than Japani bullet train, claims bike-stunt artist from Ludhiana

Apr 25, 2015 Comments

Amateur bike-stunts artist and beloved of his district’s teenage girls, Jaspreet Singh Joji has rubbished all claims that latest Japanese magnetic levitation (maglev) train is the fastest in the world.

After smelling a green-leaf I was transported to an alien planet, where I spent 50 days: Rahul Gandhi

After smelling a green-leaf I was transported to an alien planet, where I spent 50 days: Rahul Gandhi

Apr 24, 2015 Comments

New Delhi. Darling of liberal and normal news channels, and heir to the Congress throne, Rahul Gandhi, has shed light on some amazing facts regarding his recent 50+ days vacation. Talking to a press conference he explained his exciting journey in detail. “I think that green leaf, which I found on the floor of a night…

Stuntman kicked in the air by Telugu hero reaches upper atmosphere, ISRO plans rescue mission

Stuntman kicked in the air by Telugu hero reaches upper atmosphere, ISRO plans rescue mission

Apr 24, 2015 Comments

The incident reportedly happened at the sets of Ravi Teja’s upcoming movie “Kick 2”.

Shocked by extreme food prices at airport, man insists to purchase one bite of sandwich for 50 rupees

Shocked by extreme food prices at airport, man insists to purchase one bite of sandwich for 50 rupees

Apr 23, 2015 Comments

Pankaj Kulkarni, a resident of Matunga and a fierce foodie-rights activist is in news yet again for strange reasons

I generally keep my eyes closed till the ball comes in contact with the bat: Sehwag

I generally keep my eyes closed till the ball comes in contact with the bat: Sehwag

Apr 22, 2015 Comments

Veteran Indian cricketer and IPL superstar Virendar Sehwag was having breakfast at a 5 star restaurant where our reporter caught up with him for a short interview and discussed in detail about his hitting strategies for the upcoming IPL matches.

Only reason I still eat lots of cotton-candy is because I am concerned for our cotton farmers: Rahul Gandhi

Only reason I still eat lots of cotton-candy is because I am concerned for our cotton farmers: Rahul Gandhi

Apr 21, 2015 Comments

Rahul lauded eating cotton-candy as single most crucial steps the citizens can take to help cotton farmers and revive country’s agriculture sector.