I am sorry if I didn't name anyone in my farewell speech
I am sorry if I named someone in my news reports
Karnataka government has decided to step up its “desaffronization” efforts that are aimed at ensuring communal harmony by removing too much of saffron from public life.
In what could be the most cherished moment for the Indian media, Nairobi mall attackers Al Shabab has requested the Government of Kenya to allow Indian 24×7 TV news media to telecast the happenings live.
The government has decided to issue “protest cards” to the citizens of India. From the year 2013 onwards, only citizens with valid protest cards would be able to organize and take part in protests.
In an unfortunate incident, Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh broke his teeth while “biting the subsidy bullet”. This happened after the government approved decisions like limiting subsidy on LPG cylinders, increasing price of diesel, and allowing FDI in retail and aviation sector.
18-year-old IIT aspirant Krishnan Iyer has not even checked his JEE result as he is sure that he won’t go to IIT even if he qualifies. Krishnan blames it on the mess food.
Keeping in mind the absurd performance by their respective teams, cricket officials from India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, and Bangladesh have decided upon having one team from the sub-continent going by the name “East Indies”. The team will consist of the best players from all the four nations, to give the Ausssies and the Proteas and the English a run for their money in the test-matches.
In keeping with the trend of reversing and scrapping the schemes and decisions of the previous DMK regime, Tamil Nadu CM Jayalalithaa has announced that all the marriages that took place during the DMK rule will be “null and void”. The decision has attracted angry responses from DMK and some other organizations, but many men are reportedly joyous and are looking forward to the day when the order is implemented.
Shahrukh Khan had already roped in Rajinikanth and Amitabh Bachchan for Ra.one promotions and had plans to rope in Sachin Tendulkar, but chain of events led to Rahul Dravid being offered the role. Dravid will play the role of a robot called Chinni, who will fight with Chitti, the robot played by superstar Rajinikanth. This is expected to make Ra.One, which releases around Diwali, a superhit.
In an exciting development, a group of IIT Madras PhD students have been given permission to study the possibility of a revolutionary fuel. The fuel being talked about here is a mixture of tobacco and tea, which has helped hundreds of engineering students survive on the campus without any apparent intake of regular meals. The fuel, if successfully developed, will solve India’s energy problems by 2020.