NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Soon after Congress leader Pramod Tiwari raised the bar of devotion and faithfulness toward the Nehru-Gandhi family by claiming that one could see Rahul Gandhi inside if his chest was torn open, party high command issued an order to undertake chest X-Ray of all party leaders present at the AICC meet.

“No, we trust our leaders and workers. The x-ray was ordered to do a referendum on how many agreed with Pramod Tiwari ji,” clarified Congress spokesperson Manish Tewari, who successfully passed the x-ray test.

Rahul Gandhi in Heart

Well, kind of…

Sources tell Faking News that except one leader, all party leaders passed the test as Rahul Gandhi’s name or image was found on their hearts.

“Rajiv Shukla’s x-ray report showed Rahul Gandhi in 3D,” claimed one party worker who is widely known as Rajiv Shukla’s Rajiv Shukla.

The leader who failed the test is reported to be a little known mukhiya from Rajasthan, Hanuman Singh. Reportedly, names of Ram and Sita were found in his x-ray report, which irked other Congress leaders even more.

“The initials R and S were visible and we thought it was Rahul and Sonia, but once we zoomed in, we found it was Ram and Sita!” a Congress worker disclosed the frustration.

Hanuman Singh was immediately served a show cause notice and asked to explain this before Rahul Gandhi’s speech started. Hanuman failed to complete this task and he was expelled from the party.

Party leaders justify the decision and reject that it was undemocratic or autocratic.

“We gave him a chance and opportunity to correct his mistakes,” Manish Tewari disclosed, “He was asked to undergo a corrective heart surgery to get Rahul’s name or image etched on his heart, but he refused!”

“Congress can’t tolerate such people who show indiscipline and communal colors,” Congress leader Digvijay Sigh further justified the party’s decision to expel Hanuman Singh.

Meanwhile biologists and sycophants world over are shocked how could a person’s heart have a physical image or name of someone inscribed on it.

“When you like something or love someone from heart, all the universe conspires in helping your heart to achieve it in tattoo form,” said Mani Shankar Aiyar misquoting Paulo Coelho.

“Rahul ji is our natural leader and our natural tattoo,” Manish Tewari concluded.

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