NEWSWIRE

New Delhi: One of the leading deodorant brand Axe’s manufacturers are more than hopeful to improve sales as winter arrives in India, especially in the northern regions of the nation.

Axe: New age snake

Save water, use AXE

AXE’s marketing team held a press conference to share their business strategy for the season coming up. Axe also launched a new product which’s one spray can turn even the dorkiest of guys into chick magnets within seconds.

“We’re quite optimistic that our sales is going to get to new heights as winter is hitting the nation a bit too early this year. We’re targeting the younger generation especially those who live in hostels. We know that most of the hostels promise hot running water in their brochures but according to our team’s survey none of them actually provides it. Which gives us more glimpses of hope,” Axe’s marketing executive Mr. Richard Smelly said.

“According to our survey report which we conducted on almost 1 lac hostelers, almost all the hostelers bath once a week in summers. Which means that they’ll bath once in a month in winters which simply means more use of our product. This is our chance to ameliorate our sales statistics,” Mr. Smelly added.

“The only thing we’re worried about is that people will not sweat in winters as much as they sweat in summers. But we’re counting big time on our customers’ bosses and professors that they will make them sweat in winters as well. And we’re proud to announce that Axe now has every product men can use to make themselves smell better,” Richard further added.

The press conference was interrupted when a bunch of engineering students started protesting in-front of Unilever’s office. They were all wearing “forever alone” masks.

When our reporter asked their leader about the reason behind the protest he angrily said, “These suckers are looting us by airing stupid commercials which make us assume that a spray of Axe can get us a girlfriend. I’ve wasted all my pocket-money buying this stupid product. We want our money back.”

On the other hand Axe’s new rival brand Fogg’s sales executive Miss. Amy Fragrance said, “Axe’s marketing team’s analysis is just stupid. Why would people use the-all-gas Axe when they can buy Fogg for a lot less money?”

“There is so much in one bottle of Fogg that an octopus can use it for like a year,” Miss Fragrance claimed.

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