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New Delhi. Following the advice given by Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister to the civil servants to ‘not to worry too much about political corruption because all that money will come back into the system and will come to the people’, the central government has come up with fresh definition of corruption.

“Kiran Kumar Reddy has shown us the ray of hope and the way to future,” Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde lauded the Andhra CM for his remarkable observation, “Not only the IAS officers, everyone in India should stop worrying about political corruption.”

“UPA-III is one of the most honest governments ever formed in India,” Mr. Shinde claimed after applying fresh criteria of corruption.

Rupees

Corruption is all set to come down

As per the new definitions, corruption has been categorized into three categories: Cognizable (something one should worry about, but not too much), Non-cognizable (chill guys), and Notional (chill again).

The detailed definitions are:

Cognizable Corruption: Something that results in money going into private pockets, e.g. money taken by officers and clerical staff in government offices, courts, banks etc. to clear files, pension payments, loans, income and sales tax adjustments etc. (could also be called Private Corruption). This is worrisome and should be stopped as the politicians (representative of the common man) are not getting any benefits.

Non-cognizable Corruption: Something that results in the money eventually coming back to the people, e.g. the money received by political parties and leaders ‘informally’ from businessmen, arms dealers etc. which is eventually distributed among the people during elections. This should be seen as democratization of corruption and redistribution of wealth, and of course, corruption as social equalizer.

Notional Corruption: Something that results in money being made by an individual unethically but without breaking any law of the land, e.g. getting an interest free loan from an industrial house for investment in his business (in lieu of appropriate help given by him) and then making ‘windfall profit’ through that investment. It also includes ‘zero loss’ corruption cases.

Government has invited suggestions from all the stakeholders within two weeks before making these definitions formal and final.

“Maybe we are missing something,” Shinde said, “There could be strong reasons why we should not worry even about cognizable corruption. We will wait for inputs.”

The final set of definitions would be announced on Gandhi Jayanti this year.

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  • Stretford End

    Probably another type of corruption.. “feel good corruption: Where the people will not be allowed to know and the politicians feel good about the addition to personal wealth. It must be noted that any media or CAG is not allowed to identify, assess, discuss or think about bringing these matters to public”

  • Naveen

    Namaste to the master mind (idiot) who gave the definitions for feel good corruption. There is no much difference between cognizable, non-cognizable/notional corruptions, at the end the common man is loosing his hard earned money. About the non-cognizable corruption, why shouldn’t we worry about? that is our money and you guys are elected not to do the payroll departmental work. You are elected to give a good governance (of course this is out of syllabus for you guys)and make everyone self sufficient. Mr. Shinde/ any corrupt politician because your selfishness and cold blooded attitude India is lagging behind.

    Since my childhood India is considered as a developing country and going forward I do not know when India will be called as a developed nation.Focus on the work/pending files but not on criticizing other political parties, and that way you guys can do 10% justice for what you were elected and paid for.