NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Police today raided cinema halls all across the city and picked up seven people who were caught watching the recently released film Zanjeer, remake of an Amitabh Bachchan movie. These seven were later charged with attempt to suicide.

“While the official figure of those watching the movie was much higher, by the time we reached only 8 were alive. So we detained them and booked them under section 309 of IPC,” said the brave sub-inspector who lost his vision after he accidentally looked at the screen despite all precautions taken by him.

Zanjeer 2013

He is chained so that he doesn’t shoot himself

The survivors were immediately taken to the nearest hospital for check up.

Unfortunately, one of them died en route to hospital as his situation worsened after seeing posters of “Phata Poster Nikla Hero” on the way. The remaining seven were blindfolded so that there were no further casualties.

The seven survivors were administered immediate medical treatment after reaching hospital and a precautionary CT scan was done to see if their brains has suffered any internal injuries before they were finally arrested and put behind bars.

While two of those arrested have confessed to their crime, one guy was shocked and could not understand why he was being arrested. “I had just divorced my wife, so I was only watching the film to avoid any withdrawal symptoms,” he tried to explain his situation to the police.

“You know if I had to commit suicide, I would have taken less painful route like shooting myself in the head. Why would I watch this film for that? I came to have some private moments with my girlfriend at a place where nobody is around to bother us except for Priyanka Chopra,” said another arrested survivor claiming innocence.

“If it was the first day of release, we could have understood that people were not aware. But if you are caught watching it even after four days, it’s a deliberate act,” Delhi Police commissioner told Faking News.

While moviegoers and critics have lauded Delhi Police for their act, Taran Adarsh gave them 5 stars – something that has left everyone confused.

print Print

Report filed under:

Crime

About : https://twitter.com/i_Psycho
Sarcasm gives me Orgasm. https://twitter.com/i_Psycho

View all reports by indianpsycho →


  • Rakhi

    ROFL ROFL

  • Rajiv Sen

    In a related survey, most of the people who’re making fun of Zanjeer remake couldn’t name at least one theatre/single screen/multiplex that is running that film.

    • http://www.newlaunches.com Dhiram

      In another related survey no known multiplex chains are showing the film and two lesser known single screen movie halls filed for bankruptcy after showing Zanjeer.

  • Mahesh

    Right from the title of this article, tone was set. Thanks for enlighting us to avoid accidental crime.

  • Gautam

    Love the riff on Phata Poster Nikla Hero. That movie already looks like a flop just from its name, poster and trailer!

  • arshad

    Fantatic, absolutely hillarious….helps in unwinding the day’s tension. Please Keep it up.