NEWSWIRE

Faking News has successfully hacked and downloaded a page of Asaram Bapu’s daily diary which he wrote online on Google document despite being in Jodhpur Jail. Take a look:

Woke up with my whole body aching. Had to sleep in jail and finally realized how tough a sadhu-sant’s life is without comfortable mattresses, AC, and other sleeping partners.

I was informed that Salman Khan too stayed in the same cell that was allotted to me. It reminded me of Katrina Kaif and Aishwarya Rai, and I couldn’t sleep well.

Asaram Bapu

Asaram Bapu before going to jail

Breakfast was quite simple – gud and sprouted chana. Finally I practiced what I used to preach.

I thought I’d make up on my lost sleep as I won’t need to organize any satsang, but some of the jail inmates happened to be my old followers and Ashram residents. They insisted on a satsang and I had to oblige. I think I made new followers too.

In fact, even the jailer is interested. This evening, he is bringing his friend who is pretty old and has lost interest in sex life. What nonsense. The news reports about my potency test have given wrong ideas to people. I requested the jailer to hold on his thoughts and wait for a few days.

To see what news channels were talking about me, I switched on TV in the jailer’s room. And guess what, a news channel was showing Nirmal Baba’s darbar.

I love the solutions he gives to his followers, simple and easy. He is like Chetan Bhagat of babagiri, broke the old system of giving complex and creepy solutions like sacrificing animals or worshiping skeletons. I think he’s making good money too. Aspiring babas should note.

Switched the news channel to another where they were showing parliament proceedings over missing coal scam files. I hope I have some followers in the police department who would work hard to make files related to my case go missing.

The news channel also claimed that Baba Ramdev had advised sages to keep away from women. Is that why he dresses up like a woman? He’s naïve and doesn’t get it. Only those who are close to a powerful woman in this country are safe. I’m being framed.

Changed channel again, and whoa! Fashion TV!

Laters.

Report filed under:

Celebrities


  • Pavithra

    Every time I see his picture in news, he reminds me of Dhritarashtra of Mahabharata fame telecasted in DD. LOL

    • Sameer

      wasnt so funny dear

  • Devesh Khadia

    mst ha yaroo

  • Rupesh Varma

    Kaun sa-law kaheta hai ke Ass-ram chu***a nahi hai…

  • AKK TTM

    High grade imagination.

  • anugya

    looking forward to more updates from this ‘godman’s’ diary :)

  • sam

    Very SICK !!!! :p

  • DSCHAUHAN

    STUPID NONCESE BY MEDIA…..READ IT….ये पोस्ट उन लोगों को लिए है जो लोग इन पेड न्यूज़ चैनल्स के द्वारा की जा रही साधू संतों की बदनामी को सही मान लेते हैं. जब ये मीडिया हमारे देश के लोगों के हाथों से चल ही नहीं रहा है और साथ में इनका मकसद हमारी हिन्दू संस्कृति को ख़तम करने का है और धर्म परिवर्तन करना है इनका मकसद है. यही कारण है की हर साल 1 – 2 साधू संतों का स्टिंग ऑपरेशन होता है जो की आजकल आशाराम के साथ हो रहा है, लेकिन कभी भी किसी मौलवी या पादरी की बदनामी ये चैनल नहें करतेयेसा क्यों जबाब जरूर देने की कृपा करें ????? डॉ सुब्रमन्यन स्वामी की अपील पर सुप्रीम कोर्ट ने केंद्र को नोटिस जारी किया है.. सुब्रमन्यन स्वामी ने कहा था कि भारत के मीडिया चैनल, अखबारों के मालिक भारतीय ही होने चाहिए !! ज्ञात हो कि भारत के अधिकतर समाचार चैनलों, अखबारों के मालिक साउदी अरब, इटली,अमेरिका, ब्रिटेन, व दुबई में रहते है !! जिसकी वजह से मीडिया को सिर्फ इशारों पर नचाया जाता है !! यदि इस पर सुप्रीम कोर्ट सही फैसला दे देता है तो …Abp, Aajtak, Ndtv ये सब बंद हो जाएँगे !! मीडिया में हडकंप मच गया है … वो बैचेन है पर अफ़सोस इसे ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ में भी नहीं दिखा सकते !!

  • manhar

    Media is making fool of public n see how dese (hu r commenting against Bapu Asaramji )are successfully fooled,actually these guys think dat they r da most intelligent persons on dis planet,but in real,they r da most innocent fools over here,cz they tend to believe in media widout any proof,n widout wiling to knw da truth,watevr media shows dey believe blindfoldly