NEWSWIRE

Mars, Solar System. A group of Martians have approached magical entrepreneur, real estate expert, and land enthusiast Robert Vadra with an offer to develop land on their planet and convert it into the most happening place in the universe.

“We were extremely impressed with his Midas touch to convert any wasteland into a highly developing commercial zone. Also since he is almost 100% accurate in predicting which land would prosper and grow, we want to utilize this expertise of his to create a living environment here,” said Dig Gi, a Martian.

“Contrary to what NASA says or what you guys think, life sucks here,” Gi further said, “We have no malls, restaurants, discotheques, etc. here to chill and relax. We have no multiplexes either. On second thoughts I think it’s good since all of them are showing Chennai Express, but we miss them on other occasions.”

Robert Vadra with an alien

Martians are happy to have their most valued guest since they discovered civilization

“Now all our hopes are pinned on this chap to come and bring a turnaround here like he did in Haryana and Rajasthan,” the Martian told Faking News.

Sources say Vadra has already landed on Mars and through his skills has already started acquiring land through interest free loans. Dig Land Fiesta, a company owned by Dig Gi is providing these loans.

Sources further claim that Vadra has already won over the local politicians and is being treated as a son-in-law of the Martian society.

Back on earth, NASA has lauded the development.

“Robert Vadra is probably our only hope to find human life on Mars after our attempts to do so have failed miserably. We have received some photographs from the Curiosity Rover that shows Mr. Vadra in good health and signing deals,” a NASA spokesperson confirmed.

Government of India too has welcomed the move and all the Union Ministers were out defending Vadra’s deals, even though no one on Mars has objected to it yet.

When asked if language would be a concern for Rober Vadra while interacting with Martians, his manager in Gurgaon said, “Oh that would not be a problem. He has vast experience of interacting with far more complex creatures like Digvijay Singh and Manish Tewari.”

“This is a win-win situation for both Congress and Martians. After having successfully completed Bharat Nirman, we are now extremely excited about doing Mars Nirman. Furthermore Earth doesn’t have as many elements of periodic table as our creativity desires,” a Congress leader claimed.

“Nobody understands Rahul Baba’s vision and intelligence here. Everybody mocks him. But we are confident that Martians would be able to relate to his thoughts and statements. So we are planning to project him as our PM candidate there once Vadra ji buys all the land,” the leader further disclosed.

Report filed under:

Business

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  • G.M.H.

    If R.V. goes to Mars, well! the Grand Old Party need not worry at all. Don’t be surprised to see a result unpredictable in 2014 elections. All the psephologists could be proved wrong.!