NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. After registering a market value of 30 decibels on Independence Day trading, worth of Dr. Manmohan Singh’s voice had been falling like that of the rupee, but Prime Minister’s voice recovered strongly and closed at 66 decibels during the inter-parliamentary trading early today.

“It had reached a record low of zero decibels early this week owing to negative sentiments in the market, but it recorded a spectacular recovery today under the spectacular guidance of Sonia Gandhi ji and Rahul Gandhi ji,” Prime Minister’s Office claimed in a press release.

Market watchers too owe this spectacular rise in Prime Minister’s voice to domestic factors such as Sonia Gandhi’s voice being heard in the Parliament early this week during the Food Security Bill trading in the Parliament.

Manmohan Singh

Manmohan Singh after his historic achievement

“That was a strong signal to the market and it immediately caused traders to buy Prime Minister’s voice. Traders belonging to the BJP were busy selling their voices in Food Security Bill and Land Acquisition Bill, and they totally forgot about PM’s voice,” a trade analyst explained to Faking News.

International factors are not being ruled out as well.

“Voices in Syria could also have caused it,” Siddharth Sharma, an international trade expert claimed, “Although it remains a mystery why developments related to China or Pakistan don’t see any direct impact on Prime Minister’s voice, but Syria surely is a factor.”

While Sonia Gandhi’s intervention is being cited as the major reason behind the rise of Prime Minister’s voice, market watchers caution that the current account deficit of Dr. Singh’s voice remains high.

“Prime Minister is still getting to hear a lot more decibels than what he’s producing. That remains a worry,” an expert claimed.

Early today, when the markets opened, Prime Minister’s voice traded at 40 decibels in the Lok Sabha. It was outdone by 50 decibels of Sushma Swaraj, but she and other BJP traders walked out of the market soon after. Prime Minister’s voice was later traded in the Rajya Sabha and it ended at a record high of 66 decibels.

While Congress traders have claimed that these 66 decibels will do wonders to the growth rate of the economy, BJP traders are suspecting insider trading and manipulation of voice market.

“Why was the circuit breaker not applied?” asked BJP’s Yashwant Sinha, “And will we celebrate only the value of the voice? If that’s the criteria, Arnab Goswami is the best person to lead the country.”

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