NEWSWIRE

New Companies Bill, which was passed in Rajya Sabha today, makes it mandatory for profit making companies to spend on activities that can be identified as Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR).

As it could soon become a law, various companies have announced what they perceive as CSR activity. Faking News got in touch with some of them, and they are ready to spend on the following activities:

Zubaan Pe Lagaam

CSR by Center Fresh

Itch Guard has decided to send free stock to Mahesh Bhatt, while Center Fresh (zubaan pe lagaam) will send free stock to Digvijay Singh.

Bisleri will tie up with IT companies in Bangalore to distribute free mineral water to techies, who can use the water to wash their hair and stop hair-fall.

TCS, Infosys, Wipro, and other IT companies claimed that they were already doing CSR by hiring unemployable engineering students. But additionally, they will unblock Facebook and Twitter for one hour during office.

Pepsi, Coke, and other soft drink companies will give free stock to farmers for using them as pesticides.

Apple, Starbucks, and Ray Ban will sell products at only at 200% margin to people below poverty line. They claim it as huge CSR.

Tata will launch a special edition of Nano for beggars, who can now chase people driving Merc and BMW (especially in Mumbai traffic where all vehicles advance with the same speed) and get alms.

Vodafone, AirTel, Reliance, and other telecom companies will waive loans of those who have defaulted on payments, especially of those who change residential addresses and run away without paying dues.

Dr. Batra’s and real estate companies won’t send spam SMS for one day.

Kingfisher Airlines will pay one day salary to its employees.

and, TV news channels will shut themselves off for one day.

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  • Raj

    TV news channels should shut off for one day.. everyday..

  • sam

    Macdonald will take up the mid day meal

  • Sphinx

    Shivsena has asked all companies based in Mumbai to give 50% of CSR amount for Bal Thakarey memorial.

  • Shankar Narayanan

    //Pepsi, Coke, and other soft drink companies will give free stock to farmers for using them as pesticides.

    Apple, Starbucks, and Ray Ban will sell products at only at 200% margin to people below poverty line. They claim it as huge CSR.//

    Best part of the whole piece ! :D

  • realfact

    Faking news will write PS line as “this not fake ” for evey articles one day . As help people to reduce confusion to find out article is fake or not as most of the article looks real

  • Techie

    TCS, Infosys, Wipro, and other IT companies claimed that they were already doing CSR by hiring unemployable engineering students.

  • bunty

    PSR (POLITICAL SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY) will elicit the following responses-

    1) every 100% tanch maal will be given rs 12/- for a lunch coupon…

    2) akhilesh will appoint all the SECULAR mafias and DHARAM NIRPEKSHYA goons in the place of communal IAS officers..

    3) below poverty line mango people will be given a free session of inception therapy by pappuji whereby he will be made to believe that in fact he is a ambani or a mallya…

    4) mamata didi will join anger management course of arindam chaudhuri ” albert pintoo ko gussa kyun aata hai”

    5) robert and pappu will be roped in for the lead roles in the 2nd edition of the superhit movie ” beta 1 numbari to damaad 10 numbari DOOBARA ”

    6) all politicians will see forward that their collection at the eNd of their tenures must reach the 100 CRORE CLUB… else the will be declared unfit for a ticket in the next elections…