NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Twitter has announced that it will ban all kinds of political tweets and discussion on its website for the Indian users.

“Political tweets have been degrading the user experience for quite some time now. Most of the users come to Twitter to steal status updates for Facebook, jokes for BBM forwards, stalk celebrities, or participate in Twitter contests, but with political discussions becoming dominant and hijacking trends often, we risked losing our target market of mid to low IQ users because of this,” Twitter CEO Dick Costolo told Faking News.

This however has led to wide scale protests by political tweeters from all sides who claim that Twitter’s excuse of political tweets overwhelming low IQ users is a sham considering that many of the political tweeters can’t even post a single tweet without grammatical or logical mistakes.

“Our IQ is as low as it can get,” proudly proclaimed a proud follower of a proud political party.

Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh

Some in the Congress party were happy because such Display Pictures will also get banned

Another supporter, who claimed to be of higher IQ but didn’t wish to be named, told us, “My life has come to a standstill, for over three years I have spent every single day of my life coming to Twitter debating the same stuff with the same people and ending my days with ‘let’s just agree to disagree’; suddenly taking away the main purpose of my life is absolutely cruel.”

Another user said, “I will miss these people I called eNREGA scums. I was looking forward to coming online everyday to battle these low IQ congis and blow them apart with my super intellect, wit and raw unadulterated anger. It seems we are left with no option but to get back to our jobs now.”

The user later logged into naukri.com

Unconfirmed reports suggest that Twitter’s decision might be connected with Congress asking its youth wing NSUI to send all the workers to Twitter, leaving the US based micro-blogging website worried about the devastating impact it might have on the overall quality of its user-base, while there are similar reports blaming “Narendra Modi Army” that is planning to join Twitter and was first seen when Advani’s stomach got upset.

Meanwhile, we did find some political tweeters who have managed to look at the brighter side.

“All is not lost, on Twitter I thought someday some girl will get impressed with my political wisdom and give me some attention, but alas all of them were turning out to be guys. Facebook still has girls who are girls, and now they have hashtags too. So it’s just like Twitter but with real girls. This could be a blessing in disguise,” said a user who has decided to switch to Facebook to continue his political battle.

And there were others, who were elated.

One avid user “silkyjawani2011″ told this reporter, “i thank Twitta 4 removing politics…i always knew politics be dirty, wld to neva vote 4 ne1 to teach them a lesson 4 ruining mah indiah….i’ve iggy binned politics 4 like foreva!”

“silkyjawani2011″ also expressed hope of winning his/her third Nokia Lumia and seeing an end to “stop the contest spam yaar” spam tweets.

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  • Gaurav

    epic :)

  • @Gsurya

    I bet you to beat me in low IQ

  • anand

    This is a real news.