NEWSWIRE

Gaya, Bihar. Impressed with the way politics started over blasts in Bodh Gaya within hours, terrorists have decided to stick to this module as this could cause maximum harm and damage to the Indian society.

“I don’t think we need to kill people. Let’s just do chhota mota blasts where people get injured, and rest of the job will be done by the honorable leaders and commentators of India,” a terrorist told Faking News.

Terrorist cartoon

Hopefully a non-controversial picture of a terrorist. For any complaints, please contact the South Park team at Comedy Central.

(Editor’s note: we are not publishing the name of the terrorist lest we are called communal and bigoted)

Before we could assume anything, the terrorist clarified that they had not undergone any change in heart and still believe in killing people mindlessly.

“We are taking a cost-effective measure,” the terrorist explained, “If we want to kill people, we have to hire well-trained suicide bombers from across the border. It’s not cheap to train and hire suicide bombers, apart from rising costs of terrorism due to general inflation.”

“A human being’s life might be cheap, but a terrorist’s life is not so cheap,” the terrorist added.

It should be noted that two men were injured in serial blasts in Bodh Gaya earlier today. Both of them are out of danger; such acts are generally termed “chhota mota” blasts by experts.

“If a lot of people die in terror attacks, sometimes it puts moral pressure on politicians and activists not to indulge in politics and conspiracy theories, as it could upset some citizens, but such chhota mota blasts are the best way to unleash them,” the terrorist explained the benefits of low intensity blasts.

The terrorist pointed out that the ensuing politics on blasts ensure that the worst in the Indian society comes out in open with every group accusing the rival group of indulging in the blats, thus sowing seeds of suspicion among the citizens.

“This helps us achieve our goal of converting the Indian society into a dysfunctional one, at a much more affordable price,” the terrorist reiterated.

“Hahaha… our plan is working! Dilli ab duur nahi hai,” the terrorist said checking some comments on Twitter and Facebook.

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  • Manish

    Excellent satire!! Dogvijay is already barking on this.

    • joy

      paid paki dogs like @dillidurast on twitter blamed Narendra Modi for the blasts

  • Viresh

    “A human being’s life might be cheap, but a terrorist’s life is not so cheap”
    – legendary statement. take a bow PP

  • Zaid Hamid

    Our mujahids in Al Bakistan have developed suicide robots to fight the lack of suicide bombers: http://albakistan.com/2013/03/10/auto-bomb-planting-robots-to-be-developed-in-al-bakistan/

  • Ssshashi@B’lore

    It’s not cheap to train and hire suicide bombers, apart from rising costs of terrorism due to general inflation.”———-LMAO, this comment made me laugh like crazy. PP, awesome work as usual. ,,,/