New Delhi. Humein to apno ne loota; Gairon me kahan dum tha; Hamari Kashti wahan doobi; jahan paani kam tha.

Above lines fit perfectly on Nitin Paranjpe, the MD of Hindustan Unilever who went into depression after his much hyped 5-crore fairness challenge was won by CBI’s special product “Clean Chit”.

Of all the fairness obsessed people in India, CBI was the last name he could have thought would accept his challenge.

Almost three months back ‘Fair & Lovely’, a fairness cream by HUL launched a nationwide challenge and bragged about their ability to provide whiteness and fairness that cannot be matched by any other product in the market. Little did they know what is in store for them.

Fair & Lovely challenge

CBI’s clean chits could erase much darker past

“We had created our terms & conditions in such a way that nobody would be able to win this challenge. Even if somebody claims the prize we had drafted enough legal tangles angles in the contract which will ensure that we can pursue the case in courts till 10-15 years. The rate at which rupee is falling, 5 crore would reduce to 50 thousand by then. So it was a win-win situation for us,” explained Paranjpe.

But then suddenly some babu named ‘Gorelal’ working in New Delhi office of CBI claimed that their ‘Clean Chit’ was more effective than Fair & Lovely. To substantiate his claim, he produced examples of various politicians and ministers whom CBI has given clean chits in the last 10 years. “It even successfully cleaned up the coal stains from MMS’s face,” explained the babu.

Although initially taken aback, HUL top bosses have started their investigation and are not denying the involvement of foul play.

“We were confident that in India, nobody gives a damn about tall claims made in advertisements. Previously we threw 1 crore challenge (by Pure It) that went unclaimed for 2 years. We doubt that ‘Yami Gautam’ (the lady we signed for the advert) is behind this claim. She has been going around asking people Agar aap challenege jeet gaye to 5 crore aapke, lekin mujhe kya milega? Batao batao,” explained an insider source.

At the time of filing this report, HUL had filed a complaint against her in Tees Hazari court. The judge has ordered a CBI inquiry to investigate the matter. CBI is likely to give a clean-chit to her soon.

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I consider myself a prize catch for Faking News. At the time when even a remotely talented person is getting multimillion offers from MNC's, I am writing articles on this fake website for free. My twitter handle is @shaitaankhopdi Find me on Facebook

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  • ShanTati

    Now digvijay will give clean chit to CBI and put his claim for 5 Cr.

  • AG

    may there there is a hand of MODI as yami i hindu , and she is nationalist , HUL should also check if some one from pakistan or china has helped CBI win their case.

  • asma kaul

    this cream is very bad and not origional as shows on advertisement and this girl is giving lot of adverisement. I used this cream and this is worst and pls dont give so much advertisement for TRP…..

    • Alice

      You should never use this cream. It have cancer causing agents (Fair n lovely contain: Pyridoxine HCl, Tocopheryl Acetate, Which is found to cause many kinds of cancer, organ system toxicity and several other disease.
      Fair n lovely also contain; Methylparaben, Phenoxyethanol, Propylparaben which are from parabens. (Parabens are a group of chemicals) In a 2004 study published by the Journal of Applied Toxicology, 18 of 20 malignant breast tumors showed high concentrations of parabens, which are known to mimic estrogen in the body and affect the growth of breast tissue. Also a new study found that this cream does indeed contain mercury.)