NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. After a crime novel, another novel written by JK Rowling under a pseudonym has been discovered. This time a political fantasy novel set in India titled “Rahul Putter and the Unfortunate Indians”.

This not-so-well-known book was written by “Janki Rai Singh” which has been revealed to be another pseudonym of JK Rowling.

This book attempts to make the protagonists in the original Harry Potter Series more life-like by having their personalities resemble real persons, so as to appeal more to adult sensibilities, especially in India.

“The story is based on a very powerful wizarding community called politicians who rule over ordinary muggles such as you and me,” JK Rowling explained. She admitted to have written the book in an exclusive interview with Faking News.

The good wizards, led by Rahul Putter, are gifted with extraordinary magical talent and have ordained that they will pull out, not rabbits, not pigeons, but near free food for a billion people out of their hat. No one knows how it will happen or where it will come from. It’s magic.

Rahul Gandhi

An exclusive picture of Rahul Puttar

“These wizards can also hang the parliament indefinitely in mid-air and make tax payers’ money disappear,” Rowling said, further detailing their magical capabilities.

Legend has it that Rahul Putter was only a baby when it was destined that he would become the “Chosen One.” He did not even have to lift so much as a finger or a wand. Instead, Rajiv Gandhi lifted his wand and gave it to Sonia.

“Love is the greatest magic of all,” Putter’s mother has since taught Volde Modi and others as she overthrew them took over the Indian government. She conquered Rajiv Gandhi’s heart and then an entire country. Avada Kedavra!

It is said that Sonia’s inter-racial sacrifice has made Putter omnipotent. “I named him Vice President of the Congress even before I named him Rahul,” Sonia is quoted in the novel.

Rahul Putter has been struggling to complete his Ordinary Wizarding Levels (O.W.L.S) before he sits for Prime Minister.

“He is having trouble at school. He has still not learned how to make his broomstick fly. He only makes USDINR fly,” Hogwarts principal, Dumbledore says in the book.

Volde Modi is determined to confiscate power from these wizards through his powerful and unusual brand of magic, called “development”, a phenomenal magical feat which few wizards have dared to achieve until now.

Volde Modi sends shivers down the spines of members of the Putter camp. They are so terrified of him that they refuse to take his name. He rises to power gradually, growing stronger day by day, by summoning Facebook and Twitter followers, as well as people who don’t need free food, along his side.

He is also rumored to be offering VM tattoos, also known as the Dark Mark, for free through shady tattoo parlors in Ghatkopar and Chandivali. The tattoo is known to burn on the forearms of his followers every time the growth rate of Gujarat increases.

“Volde Modi is definitely one of the most talented students to have studied in Hogwarts,” said proud professor Dumbledore, referring to Volde Modi’s latest magical feat wherein he presented to us as many lives in 2013 as he vanished in 2002.

“The disappear & reappear magical act has been very popular in the wizarding community but so far it has only worked on pigeons and rabbits. This is the first time someone was able to apply the act on Gujaratis,” the professor points out.

When Manmohan Singh was asked to comment on any potential involvement of his government in influencing this plot of this Harry Potter sequel, he suddenly started banging his head on the wall and shrieking “Dobby no speak, Dobby no speak.”

Report filed under:

Politics


  • rahman

    An usual ‘rahul’ obsessed post from faking news. It seems FN
    is more obsessed with Rahul than MSM with modi.
    Get a life guys.

    • AR Rahman

      as usual, asshole hurt at Gandhi family being mocked but not having IQ to see that Modi was mocked for his “Rambo” act..

      for your help Mr. low IQ rahman – read again -Volde Modi’s latest magical feat wherein he presented to us as many lives in 2013 as he vanished in 2002

      • rahman

        hey, i have nothing personal against you. it is a fact that FN is obsessed with rahul in the same way msm is obsessed with modi. its my point and I think its right. if u can rebut me decently go ahead and do it.
        but since you have taken it personally i can see that you are a modi gay cock sucker and advani’s ass licker. you are the brilliant one who likes and shares apco’s stupid facebook post which claims a guangzhou bus station picture as ahmedabad’s bus station (modi miracle!!!). go suck modi’s cock and die there good for nothing asshole.
        u will get what u give.

        • jai

          How r such filthy pervert comments allowed? And it is mostly the Congis who complain to be victim of abuse!

  • Jatin Jhala

    Very good…

  • Harsh Singh

    Hahahaha Hilarious

  • bunty

    avada kedavra… seems like spelling arvind kejriwal…

  • 1234

    kudos to the writer… hilarious article!!!…

  • Aki

    lets hope this putter doesn’t get to rule india

  • LOL

    LMAO: He did not even have to lift so much as a finger or a wand. Instead, Rajiv Gandhi lifted his wand and gave it to Sonia.

  • Rahul Anand

    Dobby No speak, Dobby No Speak..Ultimate, crying laughing.

  • bhanu

    “The tattoo is known to burn on the forearms of his followers every time the growth rate of Gujarat increases.”

    Epic!

  • Net Troll

    Okay! Dobby cracked me up. Poor MMS has become exactly like dobby albeit dobby wanted freedom and MMS is enslaved to Madam for lifetime.