NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Tired, fed up, and mighty pissed-off with non-stop news coverage of IPL spot-fixing controversy, the citizens of India have unanimously thanked LK Advani for forcing the news channels to shift focus.

“It was a masterstroke by Advani ji when he praised Shivraj Singh Chauhan in the same breath while talking about Narendra Modi. It was an explosion that was needed to wake up the media people sleeping in IPL stadiums,” said a visibly happy Arvind.

“Well, Naxals also carried out explosions, but it didn’t seem to have the same impact as Advani’s statement so far as media coverage is concerned,” Arvind added why he was so grateful to the BJP leader and could now safely switch to news channels when he was bored of watching Colors and Cartoon Network.

Arvind even danced to the tunes of jhampak jhampak to show his happiness.

Lal Krishna Advani

LK Advani waves to his newly made fans

Similar happiness was experienced by millions of others regular TV news viewers, who were sick of spot-fixing and betting related news being shown round the clock.

“I was spooked when the news about Raj Kundra admitting to betting on IPL matches came out yesterday. Last night I got nightmares about Shilpa Shetty being everywhere on news channels like Vindu Dara Singh was. But thanks to Advani ji, who didn’t go to Goa today, news channels didn’t go astray again,” a relieved Aamir told Faking News.

It should be noted that a majority of those grateful to LK Advani were not fans of Advani. In fact, some were anti-Advani.

“Finally he did something right,” Ravi Narayan, a self-declared Narendra Modi fan said, “He should gracefully retire now because this feat can’t be bettered.”

Experts too believe that Advani had managed to achieve something that was looking virtually impossible.

“With CAG Vinod Rai retired, it appeared that scams also retired. India appeared corruption-free, women appeared safe, and no politician appeared issuing stupid statements,” an expert recalled the nature of news coverage just a few days back.

“GDP growth rate dropping below 5%, rupee weakening against dollar, hints towards a political assassination, or even Tendulkar retiring from IPL didn’t make news!” the expert underlined the importance of Advani.

Experts candidly admitted that they didn’t expect Advani to break this TV news reporting loop that was stuck at spot-fixing.

“We thought one of these events could do the trick and break the loop – China coming 500 kilometers inside India, Poonam Pandey falling into a borewell, or Rahul Gandhi getting a new haircut.”

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  • Aravind

    Faking News = Modi Mouth Piece #paidmedia

  • awesome

    Narendra Modi fan said, “He should gracefully retire now because this feat can’t be bettered.” rofl!!

  • Chandu Fatafat

    We have heard that in his fifth voyage Sinbad took pity on an oldman and carried him on his neck! The old man impelled Sinbad do his bidding by pressing his legs around Sinbad’s neck! with a stratagem Sinbad killed the old man and freed
    himself!

    Poor BJP under the Presidentship of Rajnath Singh is playing Sinbad’s role and RSS boss that of the old man who asks BJP to carry Modi on his head!Advani righteously protests!

  • Bhimpalasy

    Modi’s chamchas chant “Namo,Namo”and many BJP leaders declare that he is “the most popular and tallest leader” and so be made BJP’s “PM Candidate”!
    The priest in a local temple came to me and said, “Sir! I have been chanting “Namo, Namo”for the last several years! Why don’t you put a word to RSS boss to make me Rashtrapthi for one day”!

  • chetan_1

    Medicine for mania of cricket by Dr.PP. People have been made into tramps by socialism. RK Laxman demanded air travel for Rs.1. Not achievement, effort became the ideal but resignation became the ideal — by the glorious example set by Lal Bhadur Shastry. Honest men have to commit suicide — by this yard stick. Lot of scope by PP.

    Faking news is not having cartoons — why not have a section where people contribute also?

  • abhilasha

    simply awesome!!

  • qwerty

    “said narendra modi fan ravi narayan” so ravi narayan=ravinar=mediacrooks?
    great one pp

  • disqus_crcUjnWicF

    Wow! So you guys in media know how incessant coverage of that ridiculously insignificant IPL match fixing bores us common people to death?