NEWSWIRE

Patna. Bureaucrats in Bihar have asked the government of Bihar to allow them to indulge in enhanced levels of corruption and bribery as the ruling alliance was fully ‘secular’ now.

“It is an established rule in our country where unchecked corruption is tolerated to keep communal forces out of power. A citizen is expected to pay ‘secular premium’ in form of bribes,” a senior secretary working with the Government of Bihar claimed.

“Now that the communal forces are out of the ruling alliance in the state and the government has been upgraded to the ‘secular’ stage, we should be allowed to upgrade ourselves to the next stage of corruption,” the senior secretary argued.

Nitish Kumar

Maybe Nitish Kumar hadn’t seen such challenges coming in after becoming secular

Sources tell Faking News that a group of bureaucrats are planning to meet Chief Minister Nitish Kumar early next week and ask for a “green signal” for indulging in advanced corruption.

“We are pretty confident of a positive response from the CM as he can’t say no to any ‘green’ thing, else he could be termed as a ‘communal’ person,” the secretary claimed.

Experts believe that Nitish Kumar, though priding himself on providing sushasan (good governance) to the citizens of Bihar, could yield to babus’ demands because he is reported to believe and trust bureaucrats more than even the workers of his party.

“Bureaucrats of Bihar would rather prefer a corrupt RJD rule where they can loot earn a lot more, so Nitish Kumar may not have any other choice,” a political expert analyzed the situation for the Bihar CM.

Experts further point out that after the break-up of the ruling NDA alliance, Bihar had become like another Uttar Pradesh with RJD and JD(U) being similar to BSP and SP in local politics.

“We had earlier seen that SP’s Shivpal Yadav had openly told the Uttar Pradesh bureaucrats that ‘they can steal but not be dacoits’, Nitish Kumar could start with a similar statement,” the expert suggested.

Nitish Kumar was unavailable for comment because he was busy checking if Google auto-complete had started suggesting the term “secular” when the phrase “Nitish Kumar is” is typed in the search box.

Google autocomplete

Google approves the secular credentials of Nitish Kumar?

And he was happy when the reports last came in.

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  • Raja

    Corruption is always secular.

  • truth

    Not just freedom to corruption. A secular title comes with following privileges

    Freedom to Rape
    Unlimited power to steal, murder, arson, riot
    Abuse kids
    Polute rivers

    • Mouli

      Freedom from accountability

  • Critic

    Secularism (read minority appeasement) matters more than corruption to Indian voters – they vote for Yeddyurappa (corruption) and Mulayam (minority appeasement)

  • Thakkar

    “We are pretty confident of a positive response from the CM as he can’t say no to any ‘green’ thing, else he could be termed as a ‘communal’ person,” the secretary claimed.

    hahahahaha, too good man!!!

  • manmohan ghandhi

    wow ..though faked but still states so much of reality …awesome satire boss

  • Ravindra

    The “Google Autocomplete” made my day :-)

  • http://www.successstories.co.in/ Mousumi Saha Kumar

    This post doesn’t have any faking element :-)

  • nishi

    true