NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Indian news channels have sent a request to North Korean premier Kim Jong Un to hold off any possible war with South Korea till they find a person who can pass off as a North Korean expert on their 9 PM debates.

The letter signed by heads of Times Now, CNN IBN, NDTV, and Headlines Today channels was dispatched via speed-post earlier today and is expected to reach Pyongyang by the end of the year.

Kim Jong Un

One of the prospective TV experts said “Gangnam Style?” when he was shown this photo of Kim Jong Un, our sources confirm.

Speaking to Faking News on the condition of anonymity, a news anchor said, “We have been trying to avoid this problem in Korean peninsula right now but in case of a full-fledged war, the issue may become unavoidable. For that scenario, we need to have an expert panel ready and as of now; we don’t have anyone who knows squat about Korea, North or South. If Kim Jong Un can delay the war just for a few days, I am sure we can find an expert or train someone to act like one anyway.”

“We can’t repeat what we did in the Italian marines’ case where we paraded the first Italian we found on Twitter as the leading political expert from Italy as there is nobody from North Korea on Twitter. We may try to get in touch with Dennis Rodman but we assume he will be busy with CNN,” the news anchor added.

When we asked why they don’t use the usual suspects who are ‘experts’ on every topic, the news anchor said “Every time we mention Korea in front of them, they straight away start comparing Samsung with iPhone. We will use them for our technology debates but for a war, they are useless.”

As per sources, it took a few hours for the news channels to agree on this letter as Editor-in-Chief of one news channel did not feel the need for any such letter. Reportedly, the earlier mentioned Editor-in-Chief said, “I can have 7 cardboard cutouts along with Maroof Raza and conduct the debate on any war. Nobody will even know the difference from our usual programming.”

However, after much persuasion he agreed to sign this letter, triggering celebrations across the news channels.

When we asked why should Kim Jong Un listen to Indian news channels, the news anchor said, “Poochne me kya jaata hai?

Report filed under:

Media


  • Manish

    Fake news.. Suhel Seth is an expert on everything ;)

  • NonKorean

    lolzz…image caption made my day :D

  • www

    Why won’t North Korea listen to our request. Ask arnab to talk to them. They will even send xperts.

  • Natraj Chaturvedi

    really the opinionated crap they put out on tv news is getting to be too much! stocking populist passion seems to be the name of the game and Arnab is one those who can do it in some surprisingly effective and hideous ways! (I do like him on certain issues but maybe because I am biased on those issues I dont know)

    These days, its hate that sells and its like human rights and love for the fellow man is what’s bringing us down when its the exact opposite. Seriously, I would love to see a day when arnab and company are sweating it in the slammer and he can’t go to a hospital none to regular or get good food or get any good sex ( no chance of nuptial visits here like in US/UK etc) because these are things they make such big issues of as if once a person goes to jail he/she stops being human and has no hope of going straight ever and redeeming him/herself!

    plus as you said when it comes to covering international news, their experts are often times not experts at all because of just how skewed their opinions are!

  • muggrmuchh

    Now that we know who Kim Jong Un is, can any of the editors of various channels mentioned above, who have “sent” a letter to North Korea to provide an N Korean expert on south Korea and the United States, tell us who is the president of South Korea. And who can better provide highly intelligent and polished and US returned Korean expert than the one from South Korea itself. For the sake of maintaining sanity and parity of balance of views, it is in the fitness of things that the India’s brilliant editors also send a communication to the S Korean president to make available an expert on N (N for Nuclear) Korea. Since most of our editors and hub editors are factotums and their facilitating capabilities are conspicuously notorious (read details of our scams and they have a hand in every pie (tacit as well as illicit), they can surely act like diplomatic facilitators playing duplicitous diplo games by other means to stop the Korean war in its tracks.

  • Mahesh Bhatt

    I am always free. Please get me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/utpal.khardenavis Utpal Khardenavis

    Really Nice post, on a surprisingly new topic