NEWSWIRE

Pune. After 4 years of false hopes of “onsite” from his manager, IT Analyst Vijay Kumar finally realized, on April Fools’ Day, that he had been fooled all these years. Without wasting more time, Vijay put his papers earlier today making it the best Monday of his career.

Vijay, previously working with TCS, has now switched over to Infosys after being promised an onsite immediately, from where he has been sent to Bangladesh already.

“We came to know that he always had his bags packed for an onsite assignment, but that moment never arrived. When was asked if he’d go to Bangladesh, he asked when the first flight departs,” an Infosys HR manager confirmed.

Onsite

An IT sector’s representation of onsite opportunity

Vijay is too excited about his new assignment and is busy posting pictures of his new office in Dhaka.

“I know they’ve all seen those pictures but they won’t like or comment on it because they are jealous and busy killing flies and cockroaches in Indian offices,” claimed a victorious Vijay when he spoke to this Faking News reporter through Skype.

Vijay emotionally recalled how he was on the verge of going to China once. He went on to read about Chinese culture and even practiced eating noodles with chopsticks, but the manager changed his mind at the nth moment gave this opportunity to a less deserving Vivek, who Vijay claimed had been trained by him.

“I hadn’t felt so humiliated before. But not anymore. Days of misery are over!” exclaimed an ecstatic Vijay.

Shashank, Vijay’s ex-teammate recalls how they had a gala time making fun of him and spreading gags like “Modi will get a US visa before Vijay”.

“We have confirmed reports that Vijay had gone to a soothsayer to find out when he will get an onsite,” grinned Shashank, “Looks like he went to Banga Bengali! Bangladesh… hahahaha…”

Vijay’s manager Rama Krishna, or RK as he is commonly known, remarked, “We have already found a replacement – Rajesh, who is sincere and willing to do my excel work and assignments just to get an onsite.”

Rajesh was not available for comments as he was busy preparing RK’s presentation for the next client meeting and googling beautiful images of Europe where he hopes to go for an onsite.

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  • 2.5 yrs. se no onsite

    i know that feel, bro

    • 4.5 years !!

      beat this… 4.5 years and no onsite….. some 1.5 years back the project in which i was in, was sending some on round robin fashion to US for period of 3 months each….. bloody that project was shut down and since then there is nothing coming in….. too much time spent in a company and i believe company takes you for granted…..grrrrrrrr

  • ch

    true story