NEWSWIRE

Ladakh (still in India). Members of the People’s Liberation Army of China, who have intruded almost 20 kilometres into the Indian territory, are now nicely settled and fighting over which IPL team to support, latest reports suggest.

“Since Arunachal Pradesh doesn’t have any IPL team, Chinese were confused over which team to support. This led to minor skirmishes as soldiers divided themselves into groups supporting different IPL teams,” a source confirmed.

When Faking News visited the area intruded by the Chinese army, some soldiers were indeed in IPL mode. Our reporter could see some of them dancing to “jumping jepang” song while others talked in a language that sounded like “gilli gilli aaw”.

Chinese Army

Pune supporting Chinese soldiers reacting after watching Chris Gayle’s innings

However, some experts claim that since the Chinese soldiers didn’t face any resistance from India, they chose to fight among themselves to keep themselves on toe.

“They might have thought that the Indian strategy was to not react at all and induce them into inaction, and thus blunt their fighting spirit,” a defense expert claimed, “To avoid that, they decided to fight amongst themselves.”

But not everyone agrees.

“They are watching IPL as they have got nothing else to do,” said a strategic analyst, “They are simply another set of jobless people who are now stranded in India. And in India, if you are jobless, you do one of these things – watch IPL religiously, become an expert on Narendra Modi, or ask everyone to like your Facebook page – they chose the first option.”

Meanwhile, the government of India has taken note of the development and has issued a statement as part of its longstanding foreign policy.

“The Chinese are supporting local cricket teams, which proves what the Prime Minister had earlier said, that this is a localized problem,” Foreign Minister Salman Khurshid said, “We are hopeful that this problem would be resolved amicably by May 26, when IPL ends. Let’s wait and watch.”

Report filed under:

World


  • Vikas

    Hard hitting satire! Loved it.

  • torrentlover

    Sometimes I feel so angry that our nation (UPA bastards) just don’t do shit for protecting us and our borders. Pakistani terror and Chinese intrusions tell the world that we are weak. It sends a very wrong signal to the world and our PM (silent old douche) says that we we resolve the problem peacefully.And then they play minority politics and tell khans that they are the first citizens here.Fucking asshole. Nice satire though!!

  • anupam

    We have become a banana republic.Shame on us.{Love the article though}.

  • yagyesh

    Excellent Satire….Great Attires…But Govt has no desires. Indians deserve to be led by UPA. Mere Bete ki shaadi tak hum chinese hi seekhenge.