NEWSWIRE

Mumbai. A hitherto unknown militant outfit Lashkar-e-Sajid has today claimed responsibility for the newly released film Himmatwala, which has claimed 30 lives due to unbearable torture and mentally deranged more than 1000 people so far.

This outfit was also responsible for previously released Housefull franchise, the after-effects of which India is yet to recover from, but this is the first time they have come out in open taking responsibility.

Lashkar-e-Sajid

Suspected mastermind of the ruthless attack

Though the motives of this outfit are still not clear, there are intelligence reports of similar attacks being planned in coming weeks through their allied outfits Jaish-e-Shirish and Al-Farah.

“They don’t target specific areas, and appear to believe in carpet bombing,” Mumbai Police Commissioner disclosed the modus-operandi of the groups, “We are finding it tough how to identify their hideouts as they could be anywhere.”

Mumbai Police sources say that they are trying to find out if these outfits are part of some bigger known militant outfits like Bakchodi-ul-RGV and Chutiyaap-e-Rohit-Shetty.

Due to unprecedented death toll and pressure from moviegoers, Home Ministry has also swung into action and has promised that the movie won’t be allowed to release on television as it could maul millions of Indians and push the country into a mental deficit.

“There is definitely an RSS conspiracy behind such movies and Sajid Khan is 100% RSS agent as the poster of Himmatwala has a Saffron colored tiger in it. Presence of Ajay Devgn also proves RSS hand as the actor had hosted Google Hangout for Narendra Modi,” claimed congress leader Digvijay Singh.

While Human Rights activists have hailed Digvijay Singh’s statement, Animal Rights activists have asked him to shut up as the latest reports suggest that the tiger in Himmatwala is suffering from depression after he was shown the movie post production.

Away from all the controversies, Indian government has bestowed Sajid Khan with National Award for making the Best Film in “Wholesome Chutiyapa” category.

A teary eyed Sajid said that this was an inspiration and acknowledgement of his service to movie making, and has vowed not to stop making films until directors like Kanti Shah start looking like Satyajit Ray in comparison.

Report filed under:

Movies

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  • Ajay

    awesome man!!! hahahha perfect for sajid type illogical movies

  • Tapfruit

    Hahahaha!

  • Shashi Kant

    There is a healthy competition within the family (Sajid, Farah, Sirish) to make the worst movie.

  • Bullaaaaaaaa

    Please don’t insult Kanti Shah. Ray is not a patch on Shah- one of the greatest directors ever-who gave us gems like-”Mera naam hai Ibu Hatela..
    Maa meri chudail ke beti, Baap mera shaitan ka chela..”

  • Prasad

    This movie is a weapon of mass destruction.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hhh.vikas VI Kas

    he shud act by himself…he has lost his mind and sense of humor after he was taken in India’s got talent….

  • Apexa Shah

    Best article I read in a long long time… thank you!

  • http://www.facebook.com/hari.sanker.54 Hari Sanker

    super

  • PagalPremi

    Ek thi (Senso)dyne will be the ultimaate horror movie….