NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. India and Italy have worked out a mutually beneficial solution to the brewing diplomatic trouble between the two countries owing to Italy’s refusal to send its marines back to India for court trials.

As part of the solution, Italian marines will come back to India, get locked in jail for a couple of weeks, then pay bribe to jail authorities, and escape back to Italy after paying further bribes to concerned authorities like passport officers, security officers, et al.

Italian marines

Now they can go back in an “official” manner

“This way, the case of runaway Italian marines will become a corruption case rather than a diplomatic row, and in India, corruption cases are no more a cause of concern,” a high-placed source in the Government of India told Faking news.

“Do you even remember which is the latest scam? I’m sure you have stopped counting,” the source correctly claimed.

“Also, IPL will start in a few weeks, so we hope that Italian Marines’ second escape won’t even make news,” the source added.

The source claimed that this plan was finalized after the Italian ambassador was summoned by the External Affairs Ministry yesterday. Apparently, Italians immediately agreed to the proposal and will be sending their marines back to India after a week or so.

“Italy a long experience in bribing Indian authorities – from Bofors to the latest VVIP chopper scam – and they are confident that they could successfully carry out another bribing operation to get the marines back,” the source explained why Italians agreed for a “compromise”.

When asked why Italy agreed to taking this middle path even though their middle finger to India wouldn’t have caused them much harm, the source claimed, rather shockingly, that Italy was very afraid of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s warning of “consequences” if Italian marines didn’t return to India.

Then the source started laughing.

“Just kidding,” the source came back to telling the truth, “We have no idea. Maybe Italy was bribed to bribe us back.”

Report filed under:

World


  • Vikas

    I’ve actually forgotten which was the latest scam? There is one after chopper scam too na?

  • Prateek

    Totally amazing…. Had a hearty laugh… you make our office life so better…

  • GOI

    Faking news knew this, the suggested holiday list [see http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2013/02/22/supreme-court-announces-annual-vacation-schedule-of-the-italian-marines/ is an indication of involment of FN in this episode !!

  • http://twitter.com/dr_doubt DrDoubt

    Killer news headline.

  • http://www.facebook.com/julia.sarungbam Julia Sarungbam

    PM talking about ‘consequences’- what does he mean by that? Stop eating pizzas. What will that mean for people like me? I already hate pizza!!

  • ajaxca

    IMBA Pagal Patrakar

  • fake julian assange

    Why can’t Marines come back and stay in Italian embassy with the ambassador? We can easily have a “security lapse” from New Delhi airport to the Italian embassy.

  • Saurabh Bhardwaj

    As usual It is great one.@pagal patrakar: You ve got extraordinary talent bro. Whatever be the mood, FN posts make us feel better and better. hats off :)