Retired Supreme Court Judge Justice Markandey Katju has often been in news. He was in news earlier this week too, so Faking News decided to interview him.
Since he became popular due to his views on idiots, we sent an idiot from our team to interview him. Here are the highlights of the interview:
Faking News: Thank you for taking time out to talk to us. I’m a journalist as well as an idiot. Are you happy to meet me?
Justice Katju: You don’t need to tell me that you are a journalist as well as an idiot. They are one and the same to me.
FN: So this is not the first time you are meeting an idiot?
JK: I’ve met mostly idiots all my life, that’s how I reached the conclusion that 90% of Indians were idiots.
FN: But maybe you are an idiot magnet? You could be attracting idiots? See, I came running to interview you.
JK: Fools rush in everywhere; you don’t need to attract them.
FN: Are fools a type of idiot?
JK: All fools are idiots.
FN: So 90% Indians are fools?
JK: (irritated) You don’t know simple mathematical concepts like set and subset, which proves that you are both a fool and an idiot.
FN: Okay, maybe, but why does it bother you if someone is an idiot? I mean, if everyone were intelligent, you might not have become a judge as there would have been more intelligent people competing against you. Should you not be happy that there are idiots, who make you appear sharp in comparison?
JK: What kind of nonsense is that? Everything is not relative. Tomorrow you’d say that since there is more malnutrition in Bihar when compared to malnutrition in Gujarat, there is no malnutrition in Gujarat! What kind of stupid argument is that? You seem to be a fascist person!
FN: Err… where does Gujarat come into this? I was merely talking about RG.
JK: RG? Rahul Gandhi? I don’t comment on
Gandhis senior leaders of Congress national parties. But since you have commented on Rahul Gandhi, you appear to be a Narendra Modi supporter. Not surprised that you are fascist. You must apologize now.
FN: Sir, by RG I meant Relative Grading, not Rahul Gandhi. Relative Grading, where you are deemed intelligent because others are idiots in comparison.
JK: How is that relevant to malnutrition in Gujarat or Narendra Modi’s leading an army of fascists?
FN: But we were not discussing Gujarat or Modi! We were discussing idiots!! And that’s why I came to interview you!!!
JK: No, you came to interview just because your boss told you to! You may claim that you were just following orders, but you are liable to be prosecuted if you follow illegal orders. You seem to be uneducated and have not heard about Nuremberg Trials of Nazi soldiers.
FN: Sir, you seem to have totally lost the track and focus!
JK: You have no decency or culture on how to talk to a senior person like me. You have misbehaved with me. I can’t continue with this so-called interview. GET OUT FROM HERE!