NEWSWIRE

Ahmedabad. There have been worrying reports of mass exodus of rats from the railway stations triggered by the news that rats are now being cooked along with biryani in pantry cars of Indian Railways.

The railway tracks wore a deserted looks and no rabbit-sized rat could be spotted as the news spread. The Railway Minister convened an emergency meeting, and immediately after the meeting they announced that the rat community should not be horrified by such isolated incidents.

“There is no need for panic; necessary steps will be taken to arrest those who have spread rumors which has led to this mass exodus,” Railway Minister declared.

Rat

A rat running away from the Railways

A railway official, after a lot of liquor persuasion and on condition of anonymity, revealed why the government was deeply worried by this exodus.

“There are estimated 43 lakh rats settled on railway lines. As per their estimate they collectively consume about 645 tonnes of food waste per day and 2.43 lakh tones annually. Railways will have to spend crores of rupees annually to clean this food waste, which we can’t afford,” the official told Faking News.

“Also, there are issues of tariff and territory in handling this waste between local municipalities,” the official added.

Since the government needs rats, it has ordered an inquiry into who spread “rumors” that led to this exodus. The role of social media is being investigated on a priority basis.

“We have reports that Facebook and Twitter were flooded with the rumors that railway caterers were swindling away funds meant for Chicken Biryani by serving Rat Biryani to the unsuspecting passengers. Some enthusiast even shared recipes of food made from rat, mostly copied from blogs of China origin. We will act against all such persons,” Home Secretary warned.

Home Ministry is considering blocking some Twitter accounts on this issue, though they failed to explain how such messages could have been read by the rat community, which apparently added to their panic.

The rat community has welcomed such reassurances from the government.

“We don’t eat railway catering food ever as we are not sure of the quality,” claimed a rat from Ahmedabad Railway Station, “People of Gujarat live affluent life and throw ample of leftover food such as delicious dhokla and thepla from the train, which works just fine for us.”

Since the Rat Biryani incident took place in a Gujarat bound train, many NGOs have taken note of the incident and the statement by the rat above. It is expected that they may use this statement against the local government at an appropriate time.

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Primarily Gujarati Humour writer. Follow me on twitter @adhirasy (you may get some gujarati tweets too) Follow me on facebook www.facebook.com/adhir.amdavadi

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  • Concerned Rat

    Blow to Modi

  • http://www.facebook.com/prakhar.verma.790 Prakhar Verma

    Rats are freaked out but they assured their full support to Narendra Modi as the next PM of India

  • http://www.facebook.com/vikskukreja Vikas Kukreja

    Awesome once again…

  • shankar

    Vinod Mehta calls Modi a “mass-rat-murderer”.

    Modi is not bothered and claims he has the mandate of 6,45,276 gujarati rats ;)

  • Venky

    Hope the rat is not from Minority community. Else NaMo will be blamed for this as well. Excellent satire, keep it up.