NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. After India won the 3rd ODI between India and Pakistan earlier today, the government of India decided to reward the Indian cricket team’s Coach with the “Drone-Acharya” award. This is a brand new award specially created for current coach Duncan Fletcher.

When asked why they had to start a new award when there was already a Dronacharya Award in place, Rajiv Shukla said, “Well, Dronacharya award is an award presented by the Government for excellence in sports coaching.  So, Duncan Fletcher was not eligible for this one. But, since he has served us for so long, we had to do something for him.”

Duncan Fletcher

“Aila! Really?” Fletcher is reported to have reacted when told about the news.

“After all we love foreigners,” he added.

Talking exclusively to Faking News, an official from the Sports Ministry further explained, “Well, similar to the drones, which have caused destruction in many parts of the world, this award signifies similar destruction of hopes, dreams, and a few careers here and there caused by a sports coach.”

He continued, “Also, drones are unmanned vehicles, which have no decision making system itself. So, who better to start this award with, other than Duncan Fletcher?”

When asked, why such awards are being given now, when we’ve had similar coaches previously as well, he clarified, “Look, drones create minor destructions here and there, which swell up to become a major one. They are not like nuclear bombs, which cause a major destruction in one go. Hence, we chose Duncan Fletcher for this one, or we’d have already awarded this to Greg Chappell long back.”

Inside sources from BCCI have also told us that BCCI President and CSK owner, N Srinivasan is so happy with Duncan Fletcher’s performance that he won’t be allowed to go home, not even during the vacation period i.e. the IPL, and would be appointed Coach of one of the IPL teams.

When asked which team it would be, the insider, on condition of anonymity, told us, “Who beat CSK last time?”

Report filed under:

Cricket

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  • Srini

    awesome..