NEWSWIRE

Mumbai. To take experimental cinema to a whole new level, Salman Khan has announced that he would be producing and acting in a movie that will have no scriptwriter or story writer in the production team.

“I did away with body doubles and stuntmen in Dabangg, Bodyguard, Ready, etc. and I think now it’s time to do away with a scriptwriter,” Salman told Faking News in an exclusive interview.

The muscular Khan announced that he will be playing the role of a traffic policeman in his new movie titled “Traffic Wala”, which will have no story or script at all.

In the movie, Salman will be seen taking a round of the entire Delhi Outer Ring road. It will start with Salman walking at a brisk pace, which will slowly turn into a jog around the interval time, and ultimately climaxing into a fast run towards the end of the movie.

Salman Khan

Although traffic policemen wear full clothes i.e. uniforms, the movie will show Salman bare bodied at will, for there will be no need for a story or script to justify the scene.

The entire film will be shot at the perimeters of the Outer ring road and will have Salman Khan present in all the scenes.

Experts have already predicted this movie to be the greatest hit of the next year.

“Research has shown that Salman’s screen presence is the only thing that matters in his movies. Now by increasing his screen presence to 100 percent, the makers of the movie have already hit the jackpot,” said well-known film critics Paan Pasand.

“Critics will finally be happy as the movie will not have any story whatsoever,” said the film’s Director Arbaaz Anuraag Siddique, “Since the entire movie will be shot on the road, it will definitely have a start, a middle, and an end, which should make critics further happy as they found these elements missing in the earlier movies.”

“Moreover since the road is circular, we have left enough provision for part two and three of the movie series,” he added.

Traffic Wala will also be the debut film for celebrity lookalike Kareena Kaifi, who will star as Salman’s lady interest in the film.

“This role is very different from the stereotypical heroines that you see in the so called masala movies,” said Kaifi, “Here I play a solid, strong, and tough girl, who even after suffering a lot of hardships and neglect still remains unmoved and firmly grounded.”

Even though Kaifi refused to divulge further details about her role, insider sources reveal that she is playing the role of a roadside bronze statue of an angel with whom Salman falls in love.

Action Director Super Comando Dhruv, most important member of the team after the Producer and Actor, looked elated while discussing the action scenes: “In this movie, Salman will be seen bashing up random traffic violators, drug peddlers, and fake Being Human T-Shirt wearers. He has done the action all by himself and refused to take a body double even though Sohail Khan was free and ready.”

The movie will have a song each time Salman crosses a traffic signal. The green and yellow signals will have the funky item numbers whereas the red signal will have a sad song.

Music Director and lyricist H R Nakpuri has promised to belt chart topping songs for the movie that will contain meaningless but rhyming jingles like “Agram Bagram” and “Tiring Biring” in abundance.

Meanwhile noted film maker Ram Gopal Varma has filed a petition claiming proprietor ship on any movies that is made on Indian roads.

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  • http://www.computerandyou.net/ Abhishek Prakash

    Why Super Comando Dhruv?
    He was my all time favorite :( :(

  • http://twitter.com/i_praveensharma Praveen Sharma

    “…even though Sohail Khan was free and ready.” hahaha… bade bhaiya.. hahaha

  • Manish

    the movie name should be ‘ek tha scriptwriter’ :D

  • Salman Khan

    Awesome

  • Kameswar Sharma

    ‘ debut film for celebrity lookalike Kareena Kaifi’

    haha..!

  • praveen

    unmoved and firmly grounded lol “playing the role of a roadside bronze statue of an angel”

  • http://www.facebook.com/amrut.thobbi Amrut Thobbi

    Genius humour…as always

  • Sukhs

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH AHA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! However, I would like to give at least one dialogue to the statue – Traffic se darr nahi lagta sahib, traffic wale se lagta hai :P :P

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  • big_fan

    just so awesome :)