NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. Visiting Russian President, Mr. Vladimir Putin has offered to help Indian government in dealing with the protesters in Delhi. Mr. Putin has reportedly offered to take all the protesters from Delhi to Siberia to stop the protests in Delhi. The offer was made during his meeting with the Prime Minister, Mr. Manmohan Singh.

As per sources, Mr. Putin said, “Siberia is the ideal place to cool down these hot-headed protesters. Currently the temperature there is between -35 to -40 degrees Celsius, try taking out a candle march in that weather.”

Putin was appalled at the inefficiency displayed by Delhi police and asked the Prime Minister why all the protesters were not sent to a prison directly. “You have to beat up protesters behind closed doors, not in the open,” he reportedly told Manmohan Singh.

Putin & MMS

Putin offering the deal to MMS

When the Prime Minister informed Putin about the goof ups of Lokpal agitation when government tried to put the protesters in prison, the Russian President came up with this alternate plan to take them to Siberia.

When contacted for his reaction to this offer, Indian Home Minister Mr. Shinde expressed great surprise. He said, “Why this offer now? The protests are already over. Sonia Gandhi met a few representatives of the protesters. That is what the protest was all about. Everyone is happy with that outcome.”

In comparison, External Affairs minister Mr. Salman Khurshid was more open to this offer. He said, “These are exciting times for Indo-Russian friendship. I have already ordered the passports for all these protesters under Rajiv Gandhi Atyant-Tatkal Yojna to ensure nobody gets left behind due to the lack of a passport.”

Freelance protest expert, Baba Ramdev has threatened to go on an indefinite hunger strike for 6 hours if the government agrees to this proposal. Baba ji said, “The protesters must stay in India where I can reach them via bus. I can’t stand on top of an airplane to go and join them.”

However, Experts believe that this proposal will be beneficial for the protesters as UPA ministers who were unwilling to go to India Gate to talk to them won’t mind heading to Russia to meet the protesters.

“Russian Vodka and Russian girls may prove to be too much of an incentive for the Ministers; of course, the leaders of the protest may have to come to Moscow for the talks. Nobody in their right mind will be traveling to Siberia,” an expert said.

However, there is catch to Mr. Putin’s offer; he has offered this deal on the condition that the government will procure 4 Billion dollars’ worth of arms from them. The final figure may come to around 5 Billion after mandatory scam surcharge.

As per sources, when Putin made the offer, the response of Manmohan Singh was Theek Hai”.

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  • NKG

    theek hai.. : Rajiv Gandhi Siberia Movement Yojana :p :p ka aarambh SoniaG with her 42 yr old Youth Icon son k saath karegi… :p

  • harsh

    बाबा रामदेव पेशेवर असंतुष्ट हैं। आप उनसे किसी भी मामले पर विरोध करवा सकते हैं।

  • harsh

    बाबा रामदेव पेशेवर असंतुष्ट हैं। आप उनसे किसी भी मामले पर विरोध करवा सकते हैं।

  • harsh

    बाबा रामदेव पेशेवर असंतुष्ट हैं। आप उनसे किसी भी मामले पर विरोध करवा सकते हैं।

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Victor-Lazlow/100000295429820 Victor Lazlow

      Aur sambhavtah aap peshevar santusht hain. Aapki kitni bhi le li jaaye, aap jugaali karti hui gaay ki tarah zameen par pare rahenge

      • sanjeev

        Durust farmaya.

  • Straight Talk

    I LOLed at ‘Freelance protest expert’ and ‘indefinite hunger strike for 6 hours’. :-)

  • http://twitter.com/AuraofDreams Samadrita

    This article is P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Nothing more to be said really. Freelance protest expert…ROFL. Bang on!

  • Sandeep Kadian

    Couldn’t remember where I read it so failed to mention it while writing the article. The idea for “Freelance Protest expert” came from this tweet by @BwoyBlunder https://twitter.com/BwoyBlunder/statuses/282783086087921664?tw_i=282783086087921664&tw_e=details&tw_p=twt