New Delhi. After announcing that four Metro Stations near India Gate would remain closed tomorrow to stop protesters from reaching India Gate, the government has ordered Delhi police to put nails on roads so that people can’t reach the area even in private vehicles.
“This will puncture the wheels, cause traffic jams, and Delhi residents will start fighting among themselves as they normally do during traffic jams, thus forgetting about the anger against the government,” a source in Home Ministry told Faking News.
The government has been thinking of ways to stop protesters from reaching VIP areas around India Gate and Rajpath ever since a motley group of young protesters started assembling in the area today morning demanding stricter laws and security to prevent rapes.
“They are just random people, you don’t talk to them!” responded an official when this reporter asked why was the government not talking to these protesters, “We talk to public figures, rich businessmen, diplomats, Naxals, terrorists, or in the worst cases, Anna Hazare.”
Since talking to the protesters was ruled out, government focused on silencing the protesters.
“We have a Prime Minister who is mostly silent, and that’s how we want our citizens to be,” a government official explained.
But the protesters kept on shouting slogans all day long; this reportedly enraged the government, which is now making it sure that these guys don’t reach the protest venues tomorrow.
“They won’t be able to take Metro. But we know that they can go by cars, buses, or bikes. That’s why we are putting nails and sharp objects on roads,” the official confirmed, “In fact, we will break glass bottles on roads so that they can’t even walk to India Gate.”