New Delhi. In a major executive decision, the central government has decided to shift the national capital from New Delhi to Daulatabad in Maharashtra to prevent further protests by the local residents.
The decision was taken after the government realized that the Delhi residents were becoming too protest friendly – first joining the Anna movement and now assembling independently to protest against incidents like rape.
“Yes, similar attempt was made by Muhammad bin Tughlaq in 14th century, but we are doing one thing differently,” informed Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde about the relocation of capital, “Tughlaq had ordered every resident of Delhi to relocate to Daulatabad, but we don’t want these guys. Let them stay back.”
As part of this relocation, locations like India Gate, Rahstrapati Bhavan, 7 RCR, Parliament building, etc. too would be moved to Daulatabad. In fact, latest reports suggest that India Gate has already been moved.
Sources say that when a crowd of protesters tried to reach India Gate in the late evening today, they were shocked to find a ‘Chaurasiya Banarasi Paan Bhandaar’ at that place.
When protesters enquired about the missing monument, they were told that India Gate had been transferred to Vaishno Devi due to environmental reasons, and all this happened within a couple of hours with the help of DLF.
While Arvind Kejriwal’s party claimed a scam as soon as they heard about DLF and went back to collect documental proofs, Baba Ramdev straightaway headed towards Vaishno Devi for further protests.
This left the original protesters, young students from Delhi, stranded at a paan shop. Delhi policemen were seen buying paan and gutkha (though banned by the government) from the shop even as the protesters claimed a conspiracy.
“It is a government conspiracy to kill this mass movement that was started by the real aam aadmi,” shouted a young protester, “They have made a mockery of this whole issue!”
Unconcerned with such conspiracy theories, the government is busy with relocation of the national capital. The Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has already packed his bags, while President Pranab Mukherjee has asked for some packing tips from his predecessor Pratibha Patil.
“The final decision will be taken by the high command,” a government source told Faking News when asked if “10 Janpath” too would be moved from Delhi to Daulatabad.