New Delhi. After UPA Chairperson Sonia Gandhi declared that corruption was a cancer, Kabir Ram, an aam aadmi, decided to get himself checked for any such ailment. To his horror, he discovered that he indeed was suffering from Corruption Cancer, that too in the last stage.
“This is the worst form of cancer,” confirmed Dr. Ranbir Vadra of Dee LF Hospitals, “And the mango man, I mean, the aam aadmi has the last stage of this cancer. There is no hope; we can only pray for his recovery.”
Dr. Vadra said that to the best of his knowledge, there was no treatment available in India for this type of cancer in the last stage. However, he said that some foreign countries could have speciality hospitals and qualified doctors who could treat Corruption Cancer.
“I think one such country where corruption has been successfully tacked by integrating it into the mainstream is The Banana Republic of Aindya,” Dr. Vadra told Faking News.
Meanwhile, Kabir Ram, the aam aadmi, was devastated to discover the kind of mess he was into. He demanded to know what caused his ailment in the first place.
“Your attitude and lifestyle,” Dr. Vadra explained to Kabir Ram, “Cancer is caused by smoking. And dude, no one knows what you were smoking when you thought everything in the country was good and your biggest enemies were those people from different castes or communities.”
“And you hardly do any exercise,” the doctor further diagnosed, “I can see your medical records and it shows you sitting idle at home tweeting and surfing internet.”
Confused and worried, Kabir Ram sought to know the details of The Banana Republic of Aindya, where he could go to get his disease treated. But his plans have run into rough weather.
The main opposition party BJP has opposed Kabir’s plans as they insist that any treatment must be indigenous and swadesi.
“We know a good Swamy, who has a treatment for corruption,” said a BJP leader on conditions on anonymity.
On the other hand the ruling Congress has promised Kabir that the party will soon turn India itself into The Banana Republic of Aindya and he won’t need to go anywhere else for treatment.