NEWSWIRE

Heaven, Up There. In a shocking discovery, an RTI inquiry has revealed that Raavan, the former King of Lanka and the quintessential anti-hero of Ramayana, had only one head in reality, but he faked having ten heads on paper.

This forgery helped Raavan, considered evil but a principled character till now, show increased expenses in the ‘overheads’ section of his balance-sheet and income statements.

“Raavan would claim ten times more gold than required for his crown (the royal headgear),” the RTI reply given by Chitragupt revealed, “Similar inflated figures were shown on papers for dietary expenses, hair oil, sunglasses, etc. with 90% of the wealth being siphoned off by Raavan in his private account.”

King Ravan

It’s been long suspected by the aam aadmi that only one head of Raavan looked real, however, no one knew that there could be a scam as people were used to what they see each year and never bothered to find out the truth.

The reply to the RTI, filed by Faking News reporter who was killed for writing satire on political and religious themes, couldn’t reveal the details of the private account of Raavan, but sources suggest that Raavan could be having a Swiss Bank account.

“Hard earned money of citizens of Lanka was looted by Raavan with help of scribes and accountants, who recorded ten heads on papers,” an official in Heaven accepted after going through the documents accessed by Faking News though this RTI.

However, back on earth, experts were divided if this forgery could be called a scam, possibly the first known scam in the Indian subcontinent.

“Raavan was not wasting taxpayers’ money. He was a King for god’s sake! His kingdom was almost like his private property and thus his dealings were similar to those of a private citizen in the modern India, hence not a scam,” concluded Vineet Vadra, a senior accountant in DLF.

“Everyone does such minor forgeries on paper, we can’t call it a scam!” argued Guddu Gadkari, a farmer on paper, “And let’s not forget the larger issue – because of Raavan, his citizens had a chance to see Lord Rama in person and Lanka got a mention in Ramayana. That’s enough to wash away all his sins.”

However, there were some differing views.

“This proves that corruption is the root cause of all evils,” declared Arvind Hazare, “This would have never happened if Lanka had a Lokpal.”

“This proves that Ravana was corrupt and an RSS agent,” said someone named Digvijaya Singh, “RSS means Raavan Sir Scam.”

Meanwhile descendants of Raavan have termed all the allegations as baseless, false, and politically motivated.

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  • Vikas

    Excellent satire! Simply superb!

  • Rohit

    too good! and this is what I conclude:
    Nehru-Gandhi family treat India as private property (Vineet Vadra)
    BJP leaders wash away their sins through religion (Guddu Gadkari)
    Lokpal is the medicine for all diseases for Anna and Kejriwal
    and Digvijay Singh is an asshole.

  • Rohit

    too good! and this is what I conclude:
    Nehru-Gandhi family treat India as private property (Vineet Vadra)
    BJP leaders wash away their sins through religion (Guddu Gadkari)
    Lokpal is the medicine for all diseases for Anna and Kejriwal
    and Digvijay Singh is an asshole.

  • Deepayan

    show increased expenses in the ‘overheads’ section of his balance-sheet and income statements– simply genius

  • Nirav Desai

    Hats off for last para…

  • Chandrashekar Murthy

    Guddu Gadkari…farmer on paper..What a thot!!!