New Delhi. After a citizen journalist interviewed Robert Vadra, Faking News woke up from the slumber and decided to interview Vadra again for more exclusive content. FN got in touch with Mr. Vadra and pleaded with him for another round of interview. A large-hearted (larger than Afridi) Vadra agreed. We bring you here the highlights of that interview:
Faking News: Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule.
Robert Vadra: It’s okay. I’m taking it as a strategic time-out in a T20 match.
FN: Wow, you seem to be a fan of cricket matches!
RV: Yes, especially of the DLF IPL matches. But even otherwise too. Don’t you remember that I went to Pakistan to watch test matches between India and Pakistan? I was there to watch ICC World Cup matches too.
FN: You were also there? We thought only Rahul and Priyanka were there!
RV: The story of my life! Nobody seems to notice me!
FN: But now that you are getting noticed, you are not happy! You even deleted your Facebook account.
RV: Yes, because I realized that my statement on Indian economy was misunderstood.
FN: Which statement? “Mango people in a banana republic”?
FN: How is that related to economy?
RV: Look, now I realize that it is not, but I wanted to tell people that Indian economy has depended upon agriculture for long and we should move away from being a “banana republic of mango people”. Enough of mango and bananas; let’s go for brass, handicraft export, and real-estate!
FN: So you though that the term “mango people” and “banana republic” referred to agrarian economy?
RV: Yes, I thought so because Rahul told me so. Now I realize that he taught me all bullshit.
FN: Rahul who? Rahul Gandhi?
RV: Dude, who else? Do you think Rahul Dravid will teach me such stuff that even people at Facebook know that it’s flawed?
FN: That explains one controversy, but how do you explain becoming so rich so soon?
RV: Dude, you are behaving as if WikiLeaks has released details of some Swiss Bank account held by me! What’s wrong if DLF helped me?
FN: They helped you without expecting that you or your family would return the favor?
RV: Even my kids at school get free lunches when people come to know that they are kids of Priyanka Gandhi. Would you say that my kids are corrupt?
FN: So DLF gave you a free lunch when they came to know that you were husband of Priyanka Gandhi?
RV: You are putting words in my mouth.
FN: We are not. We are just trying to understand if there is any such thing as a free lunch and if the economist Milton Friedman was wrong.
RV: I know only one economist – Dr. Manmohan Singh. He got the post of Prime Minister for free. Maybe Indian economics allows free lunches?
FN: Not really. Dr. Manmohan Singh is paying for that apparent free lunch in terms of loss of his reputation.
RV: toh theek hai na, I also am paying in terms of loss of my reputation. Now leave me and let me earn, I mean, let me work.
Faking News: Okay, one last question: people are calling your business deals as JijaG scam. Do you have any message for these people?
Robert Vadra: I am JijaG of Rahul Gandhi, maybe that’s a bit worrying, but otherwise I’m happy. JijaG rhymes with CWG and 2G – CWG is forgotten with Kalmadi back to living a normal life and 2G is no scam at all as per Kapil Sibal. Sab mast hai G!