NEWSWIRE

Chennai. In a startling revelation, the Congress scion Rahul Gandhi has claimed that he could understand the pain of private engineering college students as he was one of them! Addressing the convocation of MoneyPal Institute of Technology here, Rahul Gandhi gave a passionate speech and was at his usual best in trying to connect with his audience.

“I know you haven’t got your due in the society. I know how it feels to be called a failure. I know how difficult it is for you to survive in this biased saffronised world. I know this as I am a non-IITian. I am one of you,” hearing this, the students, who till then had either been in slumber or trance, went euphoric and gave a standing ovation to Rahul, a first-time for the PM in waiting.

Rahul Gandhi

Rahul Gandhi further claimed that his engineering CGPA was around 5 point something, and thus the Congress party supported all such engineers through its election symbol.

“This is it! Now no one can smirk at us when we say we are engineers!” said a student as he jumped on stage and embraced Rahul baba. Rahul Gandhi looked visibly surprised, and was rushed backstage by Digvijay Singh. The whole auditorium metamorphosed into a dance floor as “Papa Kehte Hain” blared from the speakers.

While Rahul’s statement could be statistically and factually incorrect, this is the first time his statement has been welcomed with such a widespread glee and acceptance.

Faking News reporter Chatur Chintu tried to get student community’s reaction on this issue.

“I feel vindicated. Now my father can visit my IITian cousin’s house with pride and honor,” said a Wipro intern with tears in his eyes.

But there were a few, identified as RSS agents by Digvijay Singh, who thought there was nothing worth celebrating.

“Do we care? The hottest girls are in here and not in IITs! Beatch Please! ” said the third year MIT student Radheshyam Tiwari (who insisted on being called Ratz).

“What are we happy about? That a non-IITian was like Rahul Gandhi?” Narendra Singh Sodhi, a student of Moneypal Institute of Technology wondered, “I don’t think that’s a compliment!”

However, Congress was happy with the outcome.

“Finally, his speech writer has got it right,” a Congress source told Faking News, “The lazy guy had gotten in the habit of giving the same speech to Rahul Gandhi on every occasion with little modifications. He just replaced the words like ‘Youth’ ‘Brahmin’ or ‘Kashmiri’ with ‘non-IITian’ depending upon the gathering Rahul ji was addressing.”

A visibly happy Congress spokesman Manish Tewari went on to add in excitement, “Rahul Gandhi didn’t fail to qualify for the IITs. He had an admission offer but he sacrificed his IIT seat for an aam aadmi.”

This has led a BJP supporter filing an RTI, where the government has been asked to release the AIR rank of Rahul Gandhi whenever he took the IIT-JEE.

While the IITs refused to comment, Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh claimed that this was one of the prime examples of how RTI was being misused.

However, Narendra Modi, who is campaigning for the Gujarat assembly polls, waved a paper to the crowds and said, “This is the Rahul Baba’s IIT-JEE score card. He did get into IIT – Italian Institute of Technology.”

(the reporter blogs here)

Report filed under:

Politics

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  • andy

    “What are we happy about? That a non-IITian was like Rahul Gandhi? I don’t think that’s a compliment!”
    ROFL on that, yet so true..! hahahahahahahaha