NEWSWIRE

Mumbai. In yet another incident which can be termed as a national shame, Indian master blaster, Sachin Tendulkar has sneezed three times in a row. Surprising it may sound, this is the first time in his life he has allowed for such an incident happen.

Amidst the open gathering of New Zealand crowd, Sachin could not prevent the convulsive explosion of air from his lungs through nose and mouth. Not once, not twice, but thrice in a row within a short span of 6 seconds.

Sachin Tendulkar training at the SCG in preparation for the second Test match

Some hand was pointing at Sachin’s nose. Government sources claim it could be foreign hand.

Faking News could access an 8-page medical report, which hints at viral activity inside his nasal mucous and his immunity level being at an all time low. The message is loud and clear: “Sachin needs rest”, claim sources that leaked the report.

We tried to get in touch with Sachin for a statement, but he was not available and his secretary issued a statement terming the incident as an allegation by his rivals who cannot withstand his success in cricket & political world.

Unexpectedly, Digivjay Singh called up our office today for a statement without us approaching him. But expectedly, he put the blame squarely on RSS.

Digvijay said: “My colleagues told me that Sachin has been found interacting with Modi several times in the past during IPL sessions. I suspect Modi’s hand in this and hence RSS is behind this act.”

To Digvijay’s embarrassment, When we told him that it was Lalit Modi with whom Sachin interacted during IPL, Digvijay started mumbling and terminated the phone call.

Congress’ yuvraj, Rahul Gandhi, who was having a happy meal in the hut of a dalit named “Mak Dhee” was shocked when his messenger delivered this news to him via local train. Rahul said, “I feel ashamed to call myself Indian”. This is the 912th time Rahul has made the same statement. Last time during his meet with farmers in Greater Noida.

Anna Hazare too has issued a statement, which insists the importance of Jan Lokpal bill that could have been used to find out the root cause for Sachin’s action today.

He said: “It had never happened in Sachin’s 23 years long career before and it has happened only after he joined the Rajya Sabha. I suspect Parliament virus entering his system. With Jan Lokpal bill, we can find out who injected this virus during his Parliamentary session.”

Meanwhile, Amitabh Bachchan sent an SMS from his son’s Idea cellular phone requesting Sachin to join him for the next ad for Dabur Chyawanprash, which will ensure that his immune system stays high and help in avoiding repetition of such incidents in future.

Tonight at 9 PM, there will be a panel discussion debating about this national shame with expert panelists being Infosys Narayana Murthy, Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki‘s Parvathi, Reliance charity founder Tina Ambani, and the last but not the least, Subramanian Swamy. All of them are going to participate in the debate about Sachin’s shameful incident today.

And the big question “Should Sachin take rest?” still remains.

Report filed under:

Cricket


  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Dinesh Tomar

    Once again faking news rocks…
    One of the the best lines is :
    “Unexpectedly, Digivjay Singh called up our office today for a statement without us approaching him. But expectedly, he put the blame squarely on RSS.”

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com deepak

    Congress’ yuvraj, Rahul Gandhi, who was having a happy meal in the hut of a dalit named “Mak Dhee” was shocked when his messenger delivered this news to him via local train. Rahul said, “I feel ashamed to call myself Indian”. This is the 912th time Rahul has made the same statement. Last time during his meet with farmers in Greater Noida……….iconic

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Ankur bhatt

    Sneezing three times in a row…cwg 2g coalgate…its indeed a national shame

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Harry

    Seriously, the best ever satire of this site. Hats off to Faking News…

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Kanpuriya hoga tu!

    He should retire from all forms of forced nasal phlegm expulsion already!

  • prerna

    ha ha ha.. last line is tooo good,
    Tonight at 9 PM, there will be a panel discussion debating about this national shame with expert panelists being Infosys Narayana Murthy, Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki‘s Parvathi, Reliance charity founder Tina Ambani, and the last but not the least, Subramanian Swamy. All of them are going to participate in the debate about Sachin’s shameful incident today.

  • Real Sachin

    Excellent..LOL