NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. After the government announced that each family would get only six LPG cylinders per year at subsidized rate, households across the nation are finding ways to save LPG and thus save money.

After some preliminary research and deliberations, many households have found out that Maggi, a popular instant noodles brand by Nestle, was burning up more gas than it was supposed to.

“It’s NEVER two minutes as promised,” Sushma, a housewife in a family of eight, including three Maggi crazy children, protested, “The gas burner is on for at least ten minutes whenever I cook Maggi for the kids.”

Maggi

A gas saving or consuming product?

“We are using five times more gas! This means more LPG cylinders per year!” a worried Sushma blamed Maggi for her upcoming troubles.

Many other people, mostly belonging to the middle class that has been forced to spend more time on planning monthly budget than on executing those budgetary plans, have demanded that a “true” Maggi was the need of the hour.

“Kids demand Maggi almost every second day,” Prateek, father of two school going kids, said, “We can’t expect the kids or the government to understand our problems and come up with a solution, so we are hoping that Maggi listens to us.”

When contacted by Faking News for a comment, a brand manager of Maggi refused to take the blame for increased LPG consumption among the Indian families.

“Our tagline is – health bhi, khushiyaan bhi – gas in nowhere integral to either health or happiness,” the manager came up with a gaseous explanation of the brand identity and positioning of Maggi.

However, sources confirm that sales and marketing managers at Maggi have spotted the opportunity and are all set to position Maggi as an LPG saving device.

“While it’s true that our 2-minute noodles take more time, people are missing the larger point,” a sales manager at Maggi claimed, “If the whole family, not just the kids, start eating Maggi instead of taking full meals, one can surely save a lot of LPG cylinders and money!”

“Kids already love Maggi, the savings and LPG part will appeal to women, and we will shoot a television ad showing Katrina Kaif sucking Maggi noodles in a seductive way so that even men are attracted to it,” a marketing manager disclosed the future plans of Maggi.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/ashish.basant आशीष बसंत तोपनो

    “We can’t expect the kids or the government to understand our problems” … nice one

  • ganesh raam

    The last line… “Such innovative and indigenous solutions are good for our society. We shouldn’t blindly copy the west or India, where couples take a bite even on French fries together! A clear case of French kiss in disguise!” a Karachi resident said.
    LMFAO…

  • Time is Money, Honey!

    a “true” Maggi was the need of the “minute” :P An hour is too long!