NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. 26-year-old Ramesh Kumar, who has been working hard to become a corrupt IAS officer for the last three years, is deeply concerned with one scam after another coming to light. Ramesh fears that there might be nothing left to loot when he becomes a bureaucrat and gets posted in some department.

“I thought I’d let my seniors loot the coal mines and I’d focus on materials used for power generation through modern technology e.g. in nuclear power plants. But now I hear there is already some Thorium Scam!” a deeply disturbed Ramesh told Faking News.

OMR Answer Sheet

Ramesh estimates that with each circle blackened in such a UPSC exam answer-sheet, an existing corrupt babu pockets away 1 crore rupee of black money and leaves that much less for the upcoming corrupt babus.

“What the fuck man! Are they going to leave something for me to loot or they want to eat up everything before I’m even called for my final interview?” he protested.

Ramesh is an engineering graduate who didn’t take up any jobs to become an IAS officer. Unlike some others, Ramesh had no doubt in his mind that he’d go on to become a corrupt officer.

“I didn’t take up any corporate job, didn’t even prepare for any MBA degree, while my batchmates are earning. I’ve to get ahead of them, and honesty will not take me there,” Ramesh said.

In his last two attempts at the UPSC exams, the wannabe scamster could manage to clear the preliminary exam once and is hopeful of reaching the interview stage in his next attempt.

But the rapid growth of scams has filled him with insecurity as he fears that the lootable resources of India could get exhausted before he exhausts all the attempts at the UPSC exams.

Ramesh believes that he has already incurred a notional and personal loss of at least 873 crore rupees due to shrinking opportunities for a new scam.

“CAG, media, investigating agencies, RTI activists – everyone is learning and soon we would have to find new resources and ways to carry out a scam. I might get trapped in that generation of corrupt babus who would invent new-age corruption but might not reap the benefits of it!” Ramesh dreaded the hard work ahead.

“Like the cricketers of 70’s and 80’s who popularized cricket but couldn’t enjoy the money that you see now,” he explained.

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  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com girish

    yeah right. Today the politicians and bureaucrats have killed the hen that laid golden eggs – Mumbai.
    within no time India will be killed.
    The old song should be modified as “JAHAN HAR POLITICIAN AUR OFFICER KE GHAR MEIN SONE KI CHIDIYA KARTI HAI BASERA, YEAH BHARAT DESH HAI MERA”.

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com mr.dumb

    if entire national wealth is looted then joining IAC (india against corruption) will be the only option left to Ramesh

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com agyaat

    Patient:Dr. sahab do din se tatti nahin ho rahee hai, tatti karne baithta hoon to bas hawa nikalta hai.
    Dr: Bhai mujhe ismein congress ka scam lagta hai.Fertilizer hai na.Kuchh din pehle gow-mutra ka bhi scam hua thha.
    Patient: Sala pet se tatti hi gayab kar diya inhone.

  • http://Competition TMR

    Ramesh will face tough competition in inventing new ways to loot.

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Saurabh paliwal

    Dont worry you will defintely get good we are far behind from pakistan

  • kaleem awwal

    Don’t lose heart . Enter politics and there are unending avenues these days.