NEWSWIRE

Kolkata. After a professor was arrested for making a cartoon on her and a farmer was arrested for asking a question to her, Mamata Banerjee has decided to show some mamata (mercy). The West Bengal CM has announced “Happy Hours” in the state, where no one will be arrested for questioning Mamata Banerjee or cracking jokes on her.

“Media has been portraying as if people are constantly in fear, 24 hours a day, in West Bengal,” TMC leader Mukul Roy said, “To counter this lie and propaganda by the Maoist media, Didi has announced Happy Hours – those hours in the 24 hours of a day when people don’t need to be afraid.”

Mamata Banerjee

Mamata Banerjee, apparently cracking a “Yo Maoist” joke.

The introductory Happy Hour in Kolkata will be practiced tomorrow from 9 PM to 10 PM and it has sent people in jubilatory mode already. And if everything goes well, this will be repeated all across the state in the following days.

Mamata Banerjee walks into a bar… you can complete the rest of the sentence between 9-10 PM tomorrow. Come, have fun!” read a banner put outside a Redpub Bar in Park Street, which is expecting to do brisk business tomorrow.

“This will be the first Happy Hour when we are actually going to increase the prices of beverages instead of reducing them, which is the common practice during such promotional hours,” the manager of the Redpub Bar told Faking News, “We know that people will come to the bar just to crack jokes on Mamata Di without getting arrested.”

Just to make sure that the promotional banner or the ‘red’ word in the bar’s name is not identified as proof of being a Maoist organization, Redpub Bar has put another banner that reads “Dogs and Maoists are not welcome during Happy Hours”.

Not only bars and restaurants, many Kolkata residents are preparing for the Happy Hours by copying jokes from Twitter and Facebook, which they will crack without fear in the real world for full one hour tomorrow.

“Mamata Di will also face questions during the hour,” TMC leader and quizmaster Derek O’Brein disclosed, “People can put any question to her.”

“Any question from the total of five questions that I will prepare,” he clarified.

The state government has further clarified that people would get arrested for other crimes that are as heinous as mocking Mamata Banerjee e.g. murder, arson, rape, rioting, or any such grave offense.

Report filed under:

Politics


  • Rohit

    Great satire! the last line is super awesome as always!

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Mr. Roy

    “To counter this lie and propaganda my the Maoist media, ..”

    Typographical error there. Please change it to “by the Maoist media”.