NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. In a big setback to the utterly corrupt politicians and bureaucrats, the CBI today discovered a government department that was full of honest officers and had never took part in any corrupt practices right from the day India became independent.

“This is a very serious problem,” Kuku Ghosh (name not changed on request), a corrupt IAS officer told Faking News, “Were these guys living under a rock all these years?! I have been told that they have not earned even a single paisa under the table!”

Rupee

Every spend of rupee is well documented and accounted for in this rare government department

Experts estimate that the corrupt folks would have suffered a (notional) loss of at least 420 billion dollars (adjusted for inflation) due to this department not taking part in any scam.

“Imagine all this money in our bank accounts!” Kuku said, “Right now they are being spent on some useless government projects. Ridiculous!”

CBI has not disclosed the details of the honest department due to security concerns for the honest officers. However, Faking News could talk to one such officer.

“Somehow we never felt like taking bribes or looting the funds that come to us for welfare spending,” said Karamjeet (name changed on request), an IAS officer who still can’t afford an iPhone after 10 years of service.

“We live in the same society and we are just like others; this is just a choice we made,” Karamjeet said, “Say, like many people choose not to join Facebook or Twitter even though everyone else is.”

“Yes, life is tough this way,” he added, but later clarified that he was talking about living without Facebook and Twitter and not living without bribes.

Meanwhile, the corrupt officers are thinking to bribe CBI and get the details of this department, which could help them earn more than what regular scams and bribes are paying them.

“It’s a shame that we have not been able to reach out to these honest people even after 65 years of independence,” a corrupt officer rued, “We must work towards inclusive growth and include this department into our scheme of things.”

“We will find out and reach out to them,” the officer expressed confidence, “They surely can’t be in Naxal infected areas – the only area where we can’t go – as no government projects run there.”

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  • Lalit

    Bang on target. Hope someone in Govt. reads this. When is PP getting his padma award?

  • Lore

    ziddom.com

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Venky

    “Meanwhile, the corrupt officers are thinking to bribe CBI and get the details of this department”

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Subhrajit Das

    “Kuku Ghosh (name not changed on request)” Lol.. Great read!

  • Sarath

    Excellent! :)

  • Gautam

    This article makes me smile but like all other articles here the truth behind it is bitter. With honest men like Khemka and Parakh getting harassed and chargesheeted by investigating agencies other government employees will face pressure to accept bribes and give in to corruption to avoid such punishment.