NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. In an innovative bid to earn some money that was lost and pocketed away by a few individuals, government has decided to sell title sponsorships for various scams to interested parties. After a brand wins the title sponsorship right, every mention of the scam in the media and the public would need to be accompanied with mention of the brand, as it happens in the IPL – the BCCI run professional league of Twenty20 cricket.

“Thanks to the never ending judicial process and ever growing scams, there would be a large inventory to be sold,” Rajiv Shukla, Minister of State for Parliamentary Affairs and the IPL chief said, “Team Anna has decided to be active again and opposition parties too will be raising the issues of scams as some state elections are approaching. We’d have plenty of mentions about scams.”

Rajiv Shukla

Rajiv Shukla believes that he has come up with an IPL like idea for the government

Shukla, also an ex-journalist, revealed that the government was unhappy with lack of innovation shown by media houses, which at best suffixed a term with “gate” whenever a new scam broke out.

“There was CAG report on losses due to illegal coal mining and media called it Coalgate,” Shukla pointed out, “A toothpaste brand was benefitting each time journalists, leaders, and the common man referred to the scam. There was an obvious revenue earning opportunity.”

Later, while watching IPL matches, Shukla got the idea of selling sponsorship spots when he heard commentators referring to catches as “Karbonn Kamaal catch” and sixes as “DLF Maximum”.

“I thought why can’t we have similar arrangement for commenting on scams,” Shukla explained the sponsorship idea, “We could have revenue share arrangement with media houses so that they don’t fail to mention the sponsoring brand’s name while discussing or breaking news on scams.”

“Another accused was released on bail in the Vodafone 2G scam,” Shukla gave an example on how news channels and newspapers would be reporting after title sponsorships are sold.

The IPL chief and the Congress leader expressed confidence that media houses would have no problems as this would help them earn money.

“Not only title sponsorship for scams, we can sell sponsorship spots for scam related activities too,” Rajiv Shukla wooed the media houses with potential revenues, “For example, A Raja getting bail in the 2G scam could have been termed as ‘Citi Moment of Success’! One can earn without taking commercial breaks.”

Shukla is believed to have met Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi immediately after this idea struck him while watching some IPL matches. Both of the Gandhis are reported to have agreed to the proposal. Shukla hinted that the sponsorship rights could be sold very soon through auctions.

“It’s a rumor and completely baseless allegation. There are no such plans,” Shukla clarified when Faking News asked about reports that Rahul Gandhi, impressed with the parallels between IPL and scams, had suggested deploying cheerleaders for scams as well.

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  • Manish

    Yeah now they will sponsor countries also. Shukla will take the idea to US and European governments to implement the brilliant idea. Imagine India being called in news as Reliance Industries sponsers India the country. Coca-Cola sponsers United states of America and so on… or the countries will be prefixed with sponsor’s names such as Reliance India, or Coke USA, BP England, Exxon Mobil UAE, etc.

  • Robber T. Vadra

    sookhi le li.
    BTW as old saying goes, the opposite of PRO is CON. So the opposite of PROgress is …

    • sidhunp

      Awesome!

    • http://www.iipm.com Arindam Chaudhary

      Awesome Vadra…
      Fundu hai tu

    • cs puranik

      Fantastic!!!!

  • http://www.fakingnews.firstpost.com Arindam Chaudhary ka papa

    so u r here…i thought u will not go beyond iipm..well!!

  • Hari

    Well, the Scams do have Cheerleaders,they are the top politicos who come to the “meet the Press” events and argue Zero Loss (PC, Sibal – the Harvard pedigree), defend the undefensible using silly arguments and raising their voice (MS.Aiyer, M.Tiwari – the Stephanian pedigree) those that criticise the RSS as a counter and also gloat that the scams were indeed productive, the people were also bribed – they paid less for their mobile connection because of the underpricing of the spectrum (Digvijaa, Beniprasad – the local pedigree)