NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. In a desperate attempt to save the sinking ships, public carrier Air India and Mallya mover Kingfisher Airlines have merged to form a fishing company named Indian Fisheries. The decision involves doing away with flying in air and living a high life, and instead focuses on diving deep into the sea to catch marine life. The out-of-box thinking could turn out be a life saver for both the companies struggling to meet their expenses.

“We will be using our existing infrastructure and there will be no additional investment requirements,” informed Ravi Srinivasan, an investment banker with Jordan Fisher, the firm underwriting this merger and restructuring process.

A woman with a fish

Vijay Mallya has expressed a keen interest in having a 'Fishing Swimsuit Calendar' shoot for launch of the new company.

“Life jackets, which are already present in large numbers in the aircrafts, would be re-used during fishing. The wheels of the aircraft would be used for training the new recruits who had no experience in swimming. And for advanced training, the powerful Rolls-Royce engines would be used to simulate the rough weather,” Ravi explained the restructuring process.

“The wings of the Aircrafts would be split and given as Bonus at the end of the year to be used as Surfing boards,” he added and hoped, “Indian Fisheries will experience higher levels of employee satisfaction.”

Indian Fisheries, the new company, has already tied up with their ex-partners in the airline business to supply sea food for their employees, at a discounted price.

“Also, the multi-layered, big-fish small-fish structure of management, which is common in modern corporates, would be simplified. Everybody would catch fish,” Ravi explained the new philosophy of the new company, which is major departure from the way Mallya owned businesses work.

Stakeholders of both the companies have expressed confidence that the new company will earn better revenues and would be able to pay off their debts and fines.

“A Gujarati fisherman went fishing and returned as a crorepati the same day. With a more organized effort, we too can replicate that success,” an optimistic Ravi claimed.

(the reporter tweets here)

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  • Sid Mallya

    Daddy, who is that girl holding a fish? can he hold my fish pls? I’m bored of Deepika now

    • dipen

      ahhahahahhahh

      • http://www.google.com Bheni prasad

        even deepika wont hold ur fish now… u son-of-a–bankrupt-father :-)

  • Dharmi

    hahahhaah Lolmaxxx :P !! FN rocks :D

  • Akshay

    “..the multi-layered, big-fish small-fish structure of management, which is common in modern corporates, would be simplified. Everybody would catch fish” ~ hilarous!

  • http://www.google.com Bheni prasad

    lets hope that brainless dumb fool poonam pandey is not reading this..else she will go in town shouting she will be the “hottest” calener girl and brand ambassador of the new company :-) )

  • junglee

    sorry, maza nahi aaya

  • http://www.iipm.com Arindam Chaudhary

    Mallya sir..Please visit IIPM for recruitment for ur new company