NEWSWIRE

Mumbai. In order to encourage people to buy tickets to watch IPL matches, BCCI has decided to award viewers in the stadium after each match. Five deserving spectators will be chosen after each match in IPL-5 for awards that have been named after some celebrities. In fact, these awards have been sponsored by these celebrities, who will be paying the sponsorship fee to BCCI, making it even richer.

A team of experts having an eye over spectators in various stands will be deputed and these experts will submit their report after every match, which will have recommendations for various awards. For now, IPL-5 will have the following awards for the spectators in the stadium:

The Dirty Picture

Emraan Hashmi checking out a girl

Emraan Hashmi of the Match: this award will be won by the person, who will be spending more time ogling the cheerleaders than watching the match. This is expected to be the most competitive category, and most likely the winner could be a man, despite homosexuality being decriminalized. However, experts don’t rule out a woman winning the award in Chennai Super Kings matches, where one sees male cheerleaders. Sources say that the sponsorship amount will be paid by Mahesh Bhatt to promote his upcoming movie Jannat 2.

Deve Gowda of the Match: the award will be won by someone who’d sleep off even during a Twenty20 match. BCCI clarified that their intention was not to encourage people to sleep off during matches, but the sponsorship amount was too lucrative for the board to ignore. Deve Gowda refused to comment whether he approached BCCI or some middleman approached him for this sponsorship opportunity.

Digvijay Singh of the Match: this will be won by the person who will come up with a conspiracy theory to defend the loss of the team he or she supported. Calling the cricketers of the rival team as RSS agents will not help anyone win the award as BCCI wants people to think out of box. Sources say that Vinod Kambli also wanted to sponsor this award but he couldn’t better Digvijay Singh’s offer. Apparently Kambli has asked BCCI to give the Digvijay Singh of the Match award to person constantly on phone, and name this conspiracy theory creator award after himself.

Suhel Seth of the Match: will be handed over to the person with a strong opinion on everything happening on the ground and around. The person, who’d always find fault with a captain’s team composition, field placements, scheduling of bowlers, etc. and would keep cribbing about ground conditions, flood lights, and dressing sense of the person in front of him would be favorite to win this award.

Shahid Afridi of the Match: the only Pakistani involvement in this year’s IPL will be this award, which will be handed out to a person claiming to have seen things that nobody else could see in the stadium. This is inspired by Shahid Afridi’s claim of watching Sachin Tendulkar’s leg shake while facing Shoaib Akhtar. People claiming things like, “abbey, did you see? That girl in the fifth row kissed her boyfriend!” would also be eligible for the award, BCCI clarified.

BCCI, which sold off TV rights to Star TV for a whopping Rs. 3,851 crore rupees, refused to divulge the sponsorship amounts of the above awards, but sources say that they will definitely help the board recover their office expenses and salaries of experts who’d keep an eye over the spectators.

Sources further claim that the board rejected the idea of a Manmohan Singh of the Match award for a spectator keeping mum throughout the match.

Report filed under:

Cricket


  • Rohit

    no Poonam Pandey of the match award? :D

    • Nirupam

      ROFL!

    • Crackjack

      Awesome category dont know how PP missed it ?

    • RKG

      I support :P

  • Rohit

    I propose “Kapil Sibal of the Match” award for claiming zero loss even when team loses by 50 runs ;)

    • Crazyfrog

      Good one..

  • vivek

    I pee yell five

  • Rajiv Kumar

    very funny indeed…:-)
    please include Manish Tewari of the match as well which can go to making most stupid and provocating comment regarding the captians/coaches of the teams
    please also consider Arnab Goswami of the match which can go to the tv compere who doesn’t give any chance to to any of the speakers discussing the match

  • Krishna Prasad

    :D

  • Karthik

    This is one of most hilarious pieces i have read in Faking news!!
    hahahahahahahaha

  • sam

    few award suggestinos from my side:-
    1.Mamta Di of the match award -to those team captains who show the “guts” of stopping his bowler mid way during his run up because the bowler was not bowling a length which could help the batsmen to hit the ball over the most economical section of the stadium.
    2.Rahul gandhi of the match award- Perennially to Ravindra Jadeja irrespective of his participation in that game.
    3.Shashi Bhushan of the match award- to those who will stage a walkout from the stadium citing the reason as “voilation of human rights” of bowlers if they are thrashed hard by the batsmen. (for statistical accuracy ..walk out will be registered only if bowler in q “recieves” a thrashing rate.. i mean run rate of 7 or above.
    4.Nitin Gadkari of the tournament award- to be given to those captains who manage to clinch defeat from the jaws of victory in matches after matches.BCCI to formulate a ” team infighting index” for the same.
    5.the fake ipl player of the tournament -to those players who could “leak” to the maximum.
    thnx

    • sam

      oops ! award # 3 to be read as “prashant Bhushan of the match award”.

      • http://shekharlele.com Rahul

        Good ones Sam :)

  • http://www.zaidzamanhamid.wordpress.com Zaid Hamid

    There should be a Zaid Hamid award as well… for the person who could blame India, Israel and America for the loss also can find a “roohani ehsaas” for teh win