NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. After nominating Sachin Tendulkar for Rajya Sabha and giving it an impression as if the cricketer had joined the party, Congress is now targeting superstar Rajinikanth to garner popular support. As part of this strategy, a Congress leader has claimed that the party symbol – a human palm – was actually the hand of Rajinikanth.

News channels, without questioning the logic of the statement, immediately turned the statement into headlines and breaking news, which led many people into believing that Rajinikanth was endorsing Congress party.

“It’s the hand of Rajinikanth, the hand of god,” declared Congress leader Rajiv Shukla, who had earlier arranged for a meeting between Sonia Gandhi and Sachin Tendulkar, where Sonia Gandhi apparently wished Sachin on completing 100 centuries and 39 years, but it was reported as if Sachin had gone there to collect his Rajya Sabha I-card.

Rajinikanth

This is the closest Rajinikanth’s hand looks to the Congress symbol, but such technicalities were ignored in the debate that followed.

Since he couldn’t arrange a meeting with Rajinikanth, Shukla showed to journalists the bouquet that Sonia Gandhi had sent to Rajini when he was admitted to hospital last year.

Faking News reporter tried to enquire how the bouquet, which should have been with Rajini if he had accepted it, was with Shukla, but the queries were ignored by the Congress leader. Rest of the reporters had already broken the news and a TV debate was taking place if Congress could win every seat in Tamil Nadu.

“Shameful of Thalaivar to have joined a corrupt party,” tweeted an anti-Congress activist, who was heckled by Rajinikanth fans on Twitter. Rest of the people cracked Rajinikanth and Kolaveri jokes as the virtual world virtually believed that Rajini had joined politics.

BJP, not able to understand anything and shocked by verdict on Bangaru Laxman, first demanded the resignation of Prime Minister, but later claimed that Rajinikanth was anti-Congress because he had whole heartedly supported Anna Hazare’s movement.

“LOL! So what? It’s either Congress or Anna in that case. Where is BJP?” Congress leader Rajiv Shukla demonstrated the effect of his statement.

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  • Tanmay

    Sachin ka bakra ban gaya, Rajinikanth ka nahi banega! he’s way too smart than sachin ;)

  • Rohit

    “a meeting between Sonia Gandhi and Sachin Tendulkar, where Sonia Gandhi apparently wished Sachin on completing 100 centuries and 39 years, but it was reported as if Sachin had gone there to collect his Rajya Sabha I-card.”
    – EXCELLENT and nailed it.. media was almost playing into Congress’s hand, or maybe taking directions from Congress on how to report! There was no report about Sachin’s meeting with Prime Minister (only Cricinfo, a sports website, reported that)

  • Rahul Gandhi

    please nominate me for PM post in Rajya Sabha… please.. i fall in ur feet and beg u all..

    • crackjack

      seriously everything is at the wishes of ma’am

  • Rajiv Kumar

    super stuff PP…..
    especially enjyed your comment on BJP demanding the resignation of prime minister..

  • http://www.normalbaba.com Normal Baba

    THodi kirpaa me kami aa rahi ? singhvi, nd tiwari, maderna in sab ko bolo kabhi party symbal(hath) bhi use kar liya karo

    • dipen

      hahahahhahah

  • http://Ucweb Prabal

    Chahe jitna vi gigolas ya callghrl bula lo.congress ki lutiya dubni hi hai.

  • FNfan

    Faking News(no, not pagal patrekar).. will you please marry me??
    This site just gets better (if its possible) with each passing day. Love you FN!!!

  • Mukesh Abhani

    A reply from Mukesh Abani to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

    A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

    Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

    I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.

    I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with 100 crore annual salary or above.

    You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary 2 crore is considered only as middle class now days..

    My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of 100 crore annual salary? Are you all married?

    I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

    Among those I’ve dated, the richest is 50 crore annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

    If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), 50 crore annual income is not enough.

    I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
    1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
    2) Which age group should I target?
    3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

    4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

    Ms. Pooja i Chohan.

    A philosophical reply from Mukesh Ambani-

    Dear Ms. Pooja,
    I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

    My annual income is more than 100 crore, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

    From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

    Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

    However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.

    Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

    By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
    If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.

    Anyone with over 100 crore annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with 100 crore annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

    Hope this reply helps.

    signed,
    Mukesh Abhani

    • Karthik Malla

      If she is such a pretty girl and meets my requirement; I would try my best to make 100 C annual profit.