Amethi, Uttar Pradesh. In an unprecedented move by arguably the most famous bachelor of the nation, Rahul Gandhi has announced in one of the election rallies here that he would marry someone from Uttar Pradesh if Congress comes back to power in the state. Congress had the last government in the state way back in 1989.

While no one is sure how this announcement could help Congress win the assembly elections, party leaders are claiming that Rahul Gandhi has played a masterstroke.

“BSP and BJP, with bachelors like Mayawati and Uma Bharti leading them, are out of race now,” claimed Digvijay Singh, Congress general secretary and in-charge of UP elections.

“SP is also out of race because Rahul Gandhi ji will marry,” he added, without caring to explain.

Rahul Gandhi

Rahul Gandhi was showered with rose petals as soon as he announced his intentions to marry

The announcement by the crown prince has pushed the state Congress unit into ecstasy as the national media grabbed the news and made it the biggest headline of the day, something that Congress leaders believe would inspire the citizens into voting for the party.

NDTV ran a show to guess the name of the bride while the female journalist who reported from the rally point went so ahead to even predict the first letter of the future son’s name – R.

“Madam Sonia Gandhi is so happy with Rahul Baba’s announcement that she had tears of joy in her eyes,” Congress leader Salman Khurshid claimed, which was further repeated by various news channels and made into a breaking news.

“I never said she cried; she just got emotional over the news,” Khurshid later clarified after Digvijay Singh disputed his claims.

Party leaders from the state claim that Rahul Gandhi could marry anyone – caste, religion or region was no bar. It could be a Muslim, Dalit, or a girl from Bundelkhand. However, leaders were angered when Faking News asked if this meant Congress didn’t believe in reservations and treated everyone equally.

“There would be reservations, but we can’t say anything over it right now as model code of conduct has been enforced by the Election Commission,” a party leader finally clarified.

Congress party is expected to gain hugely from such comments, experts believe.

“If Rahul Gandhi gets married, there would be huge celebrations all around the state, rather country, for sure,” said one of the experts, “The citizens could expect free food for some days and might vote for the party to get Rahul married.”

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31 Responses to “Rahul Gandhi vows to marry if Congress is voted to power in Uttar Pradesh”

  1. sahi hai bhai

  2. This man is commitment phobic. a handwriting analyst analysed his handwriting and it shows that rahul gandhi won’t be a great leader.

    • smartalec March 11, 2012

      @rahi The handwriting analysis of rahul gandhi is really good. even better is the one of his mother sonia gandhi. loved reading it. thanks.

  3. Jayalalitha February 22, 2012

    Good article. Only one mistake – a typo. On the first line of 5th para, you mention “crown prince”, which should have been “clown prince”. Overlooking that tine, it’s a great piece – congratulations!

    • Subodh Banke April 3, 2012

      When an elephant falls,even frogs can kick !!
      Before Janjeer, today’s Superstar Amitav Bachhan had a series of flop shows. If intentions are good, efforts continue, which he will, success will come sooner than later !! He still has to identify the traitors within. Even Akbar had to get rid of Bairam Khan!! wait for some more time and results will show for itself.
      However, critics and jesters are welcome as they help man identify their weaknesses.

  4. ‘It could be a Muslim, Dalit, or “a girl” from Bundelkhand……ha ha ha….Rahul Gandi thakela will surely win 3 votes….self, moma maino and bianca fake gandi

    • maa bangaaru terehaclu..!Enta chakkani maata annaru sujatha gaaru. Nijangaane individual space kosam ee rojuna potlaadukovaalsina paristhiti. Adakkundaane manasu lo maata itte artham cheskune vaari pempakam lo peragadam adrustamein..!Summer saayantraalu…current pote adi vache lopu pillalaki annalu kalipi petteyatam…ee rojuna vere desam lo okkallamein vandukuni tintonte anipistundi ammumma muddalu pedtonte toduga enni chetulochevo ani..!pindarabosinatlunna vennello aadukunna gnapakam undi ..aa vennela aatalaki current ravatam oka disturbance…aa ventane nidra pommanamane pilupu vastundi…peratlo padukunevallam…andaram pillalam oka pakkana ammumma tatayyalaki maatram manchaalu…memu padukunte late ga bhojanam chese pedda valla maatalu…chukkala velugu peratlo..spastanga kanapadevi…aa okka vesavi selavula voorintato samvatsarapu chaduvoo chadivevallam…chaala mandi teachers perlu inkaa gnapakam unnayante…adi nijanga valla aatmeyate…enni gurtuku chesaarandi…! ee roje mee blog lo 3-4 posts chadivaanu…chaala mandi comments choosanu…oka taanlo mukkalu anedi ammumma …alage unnaru andaru chaala nachindi…Arvind

  5. nish kohari March 8, 2012

    Rahul gandhi is getting married after 2012 Easter,yes the girl is Brahmin from Allahabad,The ceremony will be conducted by Arya samaj and will be blessed by Muslim,Sikh,Buddhist, HINDU&christian priests,one million people will attend Dinner at 10,00(1000 each) locations all across north India which will have live screens