NEWSWIRE

New Delhi. The office of Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) of India, which had been in news last year because of their intricate calculations to reach at the number in crores that Raja had caused as loss to the national exchequer, announced a time odyssey today that shook the Indian media.

CAG has chosen Kapil Sibal to lead a five member team to travel back in time to convince Mayans that they were wrong in their calculations to predict an end of the world in 2012.

Kapil Sibal has been asked to reduce his weight by 17 kgs so as to not only be fit, but also to fit in the time-machine with other four travelers. The time-machine will leave on the next Monday.

Kapil Sibal

These Mayans don’t know anything, Sibal claimed.

It was Sheetal Shrimati, a CAG employee, who in her free time worked out the calculations available from the 5000 years old Mayan calendar, and she noticed a loophole. She immediately informed her seniors (those who had worked in the A Raja’s case) and they realized that Sheetal was right.

Since Sibal had trashed their calculations last time, CAG decided to consult the union minister this time. To their surprise, Sibal not only agreed with their calculations, he volunteered to go back in time and set right this historical wrong.

Later speaking in a press meet, Sibal explained, “Mayans had exaggerated the number of years like CAG did with the 2G losses. The fools didn’t use the proper formulae. The equation they had formed had many complex numbers, and since such numbers were yet to be developed in their time, it is obvious they miscalculated the timing of doomsday.”

Sibal informed that according to CAG’s calculations, the world should have ended on the day A Raja was born. But since that didn’t happen, Mayans were wrong.

“I will go back in time and settle the issue forever,” Sibal claimed, “I will come back with a self-attested affidavit from the Mayan chief, declaring that their calculations were wrong.”

However, Ganit Prasad, a famous mathematician has refuted Sibal’s claim. According to Ganit, even CAG’s calculations are wrong. He says that as per Mayan calendar’s true reading, the world would end the day Lokpal Bill is passed. Mr. Prasad tore away a copy of Sibal’s press release in protest.

Meanwhile a controversy has broken out over the choice of fellow travelers in the time-machine, who would accompany Kapil Sibal. Government sources indicate that one of them will definitely be chosen by Mamata Banerjee; else Mamata di could stop the wheels of the time-machine.

The other thee time travelers could be Digvijay Singh, Rahul Gandhi, and a journalist in government’s good books.

According to reports, Digvijay Singh has favored taking the time-machine to near future for a test-drive before taking it to the era when Mayan civilization thrived. However, our sources confirm that the real motive behind this is to check whether Rahul Gandhi would become the Prime Minister of India.

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  • Rajkumar

    Will there be reservations for the four fellow travellers? I wish the government thinks on this seriously.

  • roxydstar

    also bring anarkali from time :)

  • Raw Humor

    okay kapil and rahul, go back in time, but then stay there!!!!! Hopefully, the time machine will break down on first use, and the idiots wont be able to repair it.