NEWSWIRE

Beijing. Chinese government has finally decided to act against companies producing faked and pirated goods after news reports suggested that Chinese manufactures were faking Indian brands and pasting “Made in India” labels on them.

To keep the level of “fakeness” as low as possible, Chinese authorities have decided to remove some glaring differences between the original and the faked products. As a first step towards this quality control, the authorities have asked Rho Kai Mio, the owner of fake Apple stores in China, to die.

Mr. Mio is a lookalike of Steve Jobs, who has been visiting the fake Apple stores to motivate employees even after the original Steve Jobs died last year.

Chinese man showing Steve Jobs autobiography

A Chinese man shows the original Steve Jobs (left) and the faked Chinese Steve Jobs (right)

“Most the of the employees working in these stores believed that they worked for the original Apple company, and that’s fine as they are bringing money,” a Chinese official said, “But many of them were completely unaware of Steve Jobs’ death as Mio would regularly visit the stores to collect sales commission. We thought it was a little too much and didn’t suit Chinese standards.”

“Rho Mio must die,” the official declared.

It’s not yet clear how will Rho Kai Mio die. Many Chinese officials favor Mio being injected with pancreatic cancer infected blood cells to make the death a complete copy of the Steve Jobs death.

“Just as they can’t tell the difference between a Chinese iPhone and an Apple iPhone, they shouldn’t be able to tell the difference in this case,” ordered Yum Doot, a top Chinese official working on the project to control piracy in China.

However, the family members of Rho Kai Mio have asked the government to allow Mio to fake his own death as he has been faking the Apple products.

“Just like we don’t kill our brain cells to attain innovation, we shouldn’t kill our blood cells to attain death; we should simply fake it, the Chinese way,” Jul Yiet, wife of Rho Mio argued.

While the US government and Apple Inc. have not reacted to the Chinese order, sources suggest that India has welcomed the “experiment”.

“If successful, they can ask China to fake deaths of Afzal Gura and Ajmal Kasab, and settle the issue forever,” a source revealed.

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  • Rahul

    “Just like we don’t kill our brain cells to attain innovation, we shouldn’t kill our blood cells to attain death; we should simply fake it, the Chinese way,” – QUOTE OF THE YEAR – the dragon year! ;)

    • Fake_it_before_you_make_it

      I completely agree!

  • Aaditya

    “Rho Mio must die,” the official declared. Supercool…

  • Aaditya

    “Rho Mio must die,” the official declared.” Supercool…

  • Abhi

    Rho Mio, Jul Yiet, Yum Doot… Brilliant names… Literally made me laugh..

  • Raghav

    Funny as usual but try to keep your sarcasm away from things like deaths and tragedies. Make fun of chinese duplicates or iphone but not some deceased pioneer like Mr.Jobs.

    • Silverknight

      Fu too bro… :D

    • Praful

      Pioneer? He was a greedy businessman who caused deaths of poor labourers for money (click the last link in the article above, hyperlinked with the word ‘reacted’)
      And sarcasm should know no boundaries. I have complaints with FN that they don’t do dark satire. I was disappointed not to see any satire on deaths in 2011. They didn’t mock even that fraud Sai Baba on his death!

      • akshay

        then you dont read FN, praful :-0

      • Rahul

        he was many things but never a ‘business man’, but you are right..he was greedy…greedy for perfection…

  • Paro

    “Yum Doot”..! :D

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